Ok, so things aren't going so well on the healthy front. I really don't even want to talk about it because I know what to do, I'm just not doing it consistently. I was so totally focused on my health and not the scale, and I'm still totally focused on my health and not the number on the scale, but I've been torturing my body lately and I'm not proud of it.
I'm in good spirits for the most part and very thankful that I'm on WW because if I wasn't I'm pretty sure I'd probably have gained 15 lbs by now! I'm still clinging to the wagon with my broken and bloody fingernails, I haven't fallen off totally as yet. I do good for several days, then fall apart for several days, then back to doing good, then fall apart, a terrible vicious cycle.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out why I'm doing this to myself and I'm coming up empty. I love myself, love my body, love my life. I'm not sad or down or depressed, I'm just..............I don't know what I am to tell the truth.
I was on plan (but not eating the best) Sunday - Thursday. Then fell to pieces Friday - Monday. Weighed this morning as I always do on Tuesday, and I was up 4 lbs. I'm at 186, and back on March 2 I was at 180. In between then and now, I've just been going up and down. I'm thinking that the upheaval of pulling The Youngun out of school has gotten me a little derailed. Of course as I stated last week, I've been off track since our kitchen remodel. This is of course just an excuse, but I'm trying to be honest here and figure out what's going on with me. I have to re-commit to taking care of myself each and every day. I started that this morning with a 30 minute jog and I realized how very much I've missed jogging. The Youngun went with me and she just walked/jogged while I jogged along. I'm a slow jogger so this worked out well. I have to remember that I'm worth the extra time it takes me to take care of myself. There's nothing wrong with me taking good care of myself. If I don't take care of me, there won't be anything left to take care of everybody else!
I'm going back to the basics. I'm going to take it one meal at a time. Then I can progress to one day at a time, then one week, then the rest of my life!
Till next time...........I'm trying to be unTHICKINand working on theTHINNIN!