Deep Thoughts......A Crisis of Religion, but Not of Faith.........

If you are a long time reader of my blog, you may remember that for most of our marriage we weren't regular church attendees.  God has always been our constant, and the driving force in our lives, but we didn't attend organized religious services.

There are a whole lot of reasons why we didn't attend regularly, and I won't get into those here, but we never lacked for a close relationship with God, which to my mind is what matters more than anything.

Shortly after we moved down here to KY, The Man's sister lost her husband after a long illness, and his funeral was preached by a hell fire and brimstone preacher who inspired us to begin attending church.  It was wonderful!  Uplifting and inspiring and most Sundays a wonderful jolt to the spirit.

We attended every Sunday until we moved to Montana, and then as soon as we came back we went right back.  I think we only missed two Sundays in over 2 years.....

The last few months however, we began to notice some things that made us increasingly uncomfortable.  Certain things that weren't exactly Biblically correct.  Things that just began to bother us more and more.  Also, after that amount of time attending every Sunday, we began to notice that the sermon was pretty much exactly the same every Sunday.  The same message, and sometimes not a Biblically correct message.  This really began to wear on us.  

We prayed and prayed and we continued to attend, but things just kept getting worse and worse and we felt it was time to leave.

That was about 2 months ago I suppose, and we've tried a couple of different churches since.  We've also missed a few Sundays, not attending anywhere.  We are still praying for God's direction.  We have not found a church home.  We still talk in depth about God as a family every day.  God isn't just on Sunday morning to us.  God is every day, every moment, every second.  His love and His presence permeates every aspect of our lives as it always has.

Church is important, but it absolutely doesn't substitute for that close personal relationship with God.  You can't have a true relationship with Him if you are eating with a spoon everything the preacher is saying on Sunday morning and never learning to feed yourself.  If you don't study the Bible and have deep conversations with others outside of the church, you won't know, or notice if and when your preacher strays from the Word.

I'm so thankful to live in a country where you can own a Bible and can read and study God's word at any time you want.  I have a Bible in the car, at my desk at work, on the bench beside where I sit at the table, and in the bathroom.  God's word is never far away from me and I can read it any time I want.  I can also pray and talk to God at any time.  This is the beautiful thing about a relationship with God.  He is never out of reach!

So we are in search of a church.  And we sort of feel as if we are in a bit of a crisis of religion.

A crisis of religion, but not a crisis of Faith!

Till next time.....

God Bless,

Because Jesus Came.....

the Goodwife and her Daddy

My Dad has pancreatic cancer.  He had surgery to remove the cancer on December 23rd, and he came home from the hospital on the 30th.

It was/is a scary diagnosis, but you know what?  

Because Jesus came, we don't have to worry.

Because that little tiny baby was born, we don't have to fear.

Because of that little baby, that grew into a man, and was hung on a cross, we don't have to be afraid.

Because of our God who loved us so much, He was willing to send that baby to grow into a man to take the punishment for us. 

Dad is saved.  He is a child of God.  We've talked at great length about it, and I'm so thankful that God has given us a relationship that allows that. 

We've prayed for God's will to be done.  We've prayed for strength to handle what comes.  God is good!  God is Almighty.  God gives life, and it's His to take it away.  To me it doesn't make sense to question God's plan.  He is GOD.  I'm just thankful it was His plan for my Dad to be born, and more importantly I'm so thankful Dad is born again.  

They were able to remove the cancerous tumor, part of his pancreas, and his spleen.  They also removed and biopsied the lymph nodes in the pancreas which came back clean. That is wonderful news, but pancreatic cancer is a very aggressive cancer.   

 But guess what?   Dad is a winner either way.  He belongs to God, not to us.  We must simply be thankful for every second we've got, and trust in the Wisdom of our Father.

 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.  
Isaiah Ch 12

Not Self Sufficient......God Reliant!

So before, in IL we always wanted to be self sufficient and self reliant.  We loved our Jesus, and we thought we were serving Him.  As a matter of fact, had someone tried to tell me that we weren't doing all we could for the Lord, I would have given them an ear-full! 

However, that said, and if anyone remembers God had been telling us for over 2 years that He wanted us to do something else and we weren't listening.  We said, nope, he's been at this job for 9 years!  The health insurance!  The vacation time!  The 401K!!!  Our house, our garden, our fruit trees, our barns!!

Well fast forward to the months after The Man lost his job and we really started to figure out what it means to trust in the Lord.  See before, we wanted to trust God and we thought we did, and we probably did, just not enough.  The job was our security, the health insurance and the home.  That isn't where true security comes from!!  True, peaceful security comes from our Heavenly Father and NOWHERE else.

God led us to Montana, which was a fantastic adventure, and then He led us back to KY.  After being back in KY for a year and living next door to The Man's sister, we were praying hard for a place to call our own.  The bankruptcy made it impossible to get a mortgage and it looked as if we were a long way out from our own place.  We prayed and looked, and looked and prayed, and none of the houses we looked at would work out.  We went to the bank, they told us to get a credit card to rebuild our credit.......ah, no thanks!  There was a little house trailer for sale about 2 miles over from where we were living.  It was on the highway and looked pretty run down.  We must have driven past it dozens of times and saw the for sale by owner sign.  We would say, no, we don't want it, it's on the highway, it's too small, too old, too shabby, whatever.  One Sunday before church, I was looking on C/L for places for sale by owner.  That little place was on there with some pictures of the inside.  I thought, hmm, I could make this work!  We decided to email about the ad and lay it all out on the line.  I sent an email asking if they would consider owner financing with a generous down payment.  Off we went to church........and when we got home there was an email from the owner.  He said he would do an owner finance and would we like to look at the property that afternoon?  We met him over there on Sunday afternoon and to our surprise the little house trailer came with 3.2 acres of land!  We stood in the driveway and talked to the owner for over an hour, mostly about God!  He shook our hands, told us he'd never done an owner finance before, but said he felt that it was what he was supposed to do!  We closed on the house, signed papers at his attorney's and took possession that Thursday, 4 days after first looking at the place.

It is amazing how things fall RIGHT INTO PLACE when you are truly where God wants you to be....... 

Until next time........I remain yours in Christ,

Answers to Asked and Unasked Questions...........

Ok, ok, so some of the questions were asked, and some of you couldn't care less......since when has that ever stopped me?  Baaahahahhaaaa!

1. Is The Youngun still being homeschooled??
2. Where is Champ??
3. Where does Willow (the cat) now live??
4. Are you insane??
5. Do you ever get sad, down, depressed.....ever??

K.........thats enough questions for now. If you have any others though, please do feel free to leave them in the comments section!

Answer to question new-mare-o eww-no.......

• No.  We were feeling nudges to put her back into the public school system while we were in Kentucky.  I wasn't crazy about that idea as I wasn't fond of the Bowling Green school system (waaaaay to big for this goodwife) but we did want to mind the Lord and we had been talking about it as a family and praying about it.  When this Montana gig came up I began googling the school up here.  I was pleased, and even more so after meeting with the principle and staff.  The Youngun was excited though nervous.  She attended Thursday and Friday of the first week and then Mon.-Wed of the next week before being off for Christmas break.  The school is tiny and there are 7 kids in her math class.  Lots of one on one attention and yes they do still call it Christmas break here.  A wonderful and refreshing change from IL schools.  She goes to school 26 miles away from our house and Mouse or I drive the girls 14 miles one way to meet the school bus, where the bus then takes them the remaining 12 miles to school.  Same drill in the afternoon.  Did I mention The Youngun loves it, and she re-entered public school seamlessly??  God is good!  I also strongly feel that it was His plan for us to pull her from school in IL when we did because of all the turmoil we were headed for.  Moving from IL, to KY, to MT in the space of 6 months would've been a bit traumatic if she'd been attending school in IL and in KY!

Moving on past question twa for now, (and that means two in goodwife speak).  The answer to question three lies in the following picture........

My days now consist of........ feed the dogs, let the dogs out, let the dogs back in, feed the cat, dogs eat the cat food, feed the cat again, cat poops, dogs eat the cat poop, repeat until bed time..............

Question 4.......ah dear sweet question 4.......

• Probably............but not for the reasons you think.  We have faith..........if that makes us insane then we're proud to be nutty!  Life only scares us when we think we are in charge.  When we know we are letting God make the decisions it's all just a really fun and exciting journey!

Question 5.........the meat of it all............

• YES! Although it isn't very often sometimes I'm get so sad I don't think I can go on.  Usually it's related to my monthly cycle (see above question cuz I for sure am then) (sorry if TMI) and I can usually power through it but sometimes it's the hardest thing I have to do.  A few days after we moved to this beautiful place I was PMSing and feeling terribly sorry for myself.  The Man was having the time of his life learning the ranching trade and I was feeling as useless at tits on a boar.  For the first time in 13 years I have no critters that depend on me and I was feeling low, low, low.  Then I was laying in bed and I had one of those smack upside the head moments that God often graces me with.  I remembered........I am here because God wants me here.  God has a plan and a purpose for me and if right now all that purpose is is to keep my house nice, feed my family and my dogs, and scoop that dang cat box, (see the above question about where Willow now lives), well that's ok.  That is what God wants me to be doing.  Then I felt better!  And you know what?  About 2 days after that, Mouse started calling on me and having me help her with cow stuff.  And God said...... SEEEEEE, you must give Me time to work.  And I said..........sorry Big Guy, I failed you again!  And I was once again so thankful that even though I fail Him constantly, He never ever fails me!

And now........to answer question twa..........my heart constricts on question twa........

• Champ is gone.  He couldn't come to Montana with us.  Champ was 24 years old.  He was an old man in horse years, and I couldn't bring him 1600 miles north in December.  The climate and altitude would've been too much for him.  On a totally practical note, we aren't exactly rolling in cash and transporting him would have been a financial outlay we simply couldn't afford.  As I've stated many many times, selling him was not an option.  He left this world relaxed and happy and that's all I'd really like to say about a very painful subject.  ♥
  He gave me 11 years of wonderful horsey love and I'll never have another like him, if I ever even get another horse.  I'm a lifer and a horse can be a 20+ year commitment for a person like me.  I'm also not too sure that God has ever had horses in the plan for me.  I think He's allowed me to have them because I've wanted them, but I'm not sure it's ever been what He's wanted for me, though we do talk about that often as my heart yearns to ride over this 30,000 acres on a faithful steed.  God will let me know in His time what the plan is regarding that!

So that's those questions answered.  There was another question posted by anonymous on my last post, about bear eating cows..........no wait........maybe it was about cow eating bears??  Anyway, I'll answer that question next time..........

oh yeah.....ps.........is this font hard for you to read???



Till then...............God Bless..........

So What Exactly Are We Doing???

Ranching of course! 

God has led us to a 30,000 acre family ranch smack dab in the middle of Montana, about 2 hours northwest of Billings and about 2 hours northeast of Bozeman.  Hank Jr sang a song about the little town we are near, though we are 14 miles away from it even.

It's always been a dream of mine and The Man's, to live in the mountains in the middle of nowhere.  We thought we'd have to wait until he retired to make this dream come true because you can't exactly commute from where we are, but God in His infinite wisdom led us here, where we get to live on 30,000 acres of deeded loveliness for free, and get paid for it even!

So now you know.............the rest of the story.........but it's only beginning isn't it? 

Till next time...........God Bless.........

Sunday, January First, Two Thousand and Twelve..........

Good morning dear readers and blog friends!  I've been waiting on this post for a couple weeks now.  How fitting that it should begin assembling itself in my mind on the first day of a new year! 

If you are new to this blog and would like to catch up on what's been happening please click here...... that will take you to a lot of blog posts and you can catch up on what's been going on!

If you are a faithful friend then I'm sure you are sayin'.....yadda, yadda, blahhh, get on with it sister!!  So I will!

When last I reported to you the goings on in our lives The Man was working at a factory in Bowling Green, KY and God had led me to sell my goats.  We were beginning to feel nudges about putting The Youngun back in school, and although I wasn't really feelin' that in B.G., we wanted to mind The Lord. 

Now I'm usually not a good one for remembering dates, but these are cemented in my mind.  On Tuesday, November 15, 2011 The Man came home from his second shift at the factory miserable.  Well he'd been coming home miserable for about a week now, but especially miserable on that day.  He really didn't like working at the factory.  He didn't mind the actual work, but the work ethic and the mindset of the folks he was working with were really getting to him.  He also wasn't enjoying being cooped up in that building for 10-12 hours a day.  As always, we'd been praying without ceasing for God to show us the way.  For Him to show us what He'd have us to do. 

I began telling The Man about this lovely lady and her family.  Mountain Mama and her family strive to live for God and to have the courage and faith to go wherever He leads them.  At one point, He led them to manage a lodge in the mountains.  As I was telling The Man about this, he didn't really say too much and I just let it go, praying all the while for His direction. 

The next morning when we got up he asked me if I thought I could find us a job like that.  I said I don't know but I can try!  We all three marched back to the computer and I stared googling jobs for couples.  It took me to a site called working couples dot com and I started searching the jobs there.  There were several jobs on there, jobs in Florida, Georgia, and Texas.  I asked The Man if any of those sounded interesting to him and he said the one in Montana sounded pretty good.  There was a name, and address, and a phone number, or you could apply online through the site.  I told him to call the number.........he took a deep breath........I said, do you feel like God is telling you to do it but you are scared to death??  He said.......Oh yeah!!  I said, then call!  So he did......

The job said no experience necessary and while The Man had a little bit of experience doing this type of work, he didn't have a great deal, but he had faith and he called.  After speaking to the lady, she told him to send her 5 references and a resume.  She wanted 3 references of people he'd worked with in the past, and 2 of people he was currently working with at the factory.  He went to work that afternoon, Wednesday November 16, 2011 and asked two fellas if he could use them as a reference.  They said yes so when he got home from working second shift, at around midnight we sent the resume and the references.  By the time he got to work the afternoon of Thursday the 17th, she'd called both of those references, as well as two of the others.  She couldn't get ahold of the last one because he was up a tree.  It was deer season in IL ya know.....

K.........hate to do this to you, but I got to take a break.  I will leave you with another picture though, and promise to continue this story next week!

Till next time...........God Bless........

Just kiddin!  Would I do that to you??  Baahhahahaa!

Ok, so anyway, she couldn't get ahold of Brandon and she was determined to talk to all of his references.  We didn't hear anything from her and The Man continued to go to work at the factory.  We continued to pray for His guidance and He was really telling us this was going to happen.  We went to IL for Thanksgiving, leaving on Thanksgiving day and coming home Saturday the 26th.  While we were in IL, we visited with my family, telling them we'd applied for a job in Montana, and doing the same with his family.  My family was very supportive as they always are.  His family didn't believe us.........

We got back home to KY on Saturday and got up Sunday morning the 27th to go to church.  We loved our little church in Barren County KY and really hated to leave it!  During a church service a few weeks prior our preacher opened up the church doors for membership, but we didn't go forward.  A couple Sunday's after that we told the congregation that we didn't come forward because we didn't know how long God was going to leave us here and we didn't want anything holding us back from going where He led us, including church membership......After church The Man called to follow up on the job.  The lady told him she'd filled the job, but the guy hadn't shown up yet and if he didn't get there quick she was going to call us. 

We knew were were destined for Montana, so we began craigslisting everything we didn't want to take with us on a 1600 mile move.........

On Monday November 28th she called The Man to tell him he was her pick but she wanted us to talk it over and be sure we wanted it as a family.  She also had to talk to her dad and her husband about us......meanwhile, while The Man was on the phone with the lady, Missy (Brandon of the deer stand)'s wife was frantically calling us to tell us she'd finally called and talked to Brandon!

Tuesday, November 29th The Man told the factory he was done.  What???  Without knowing for sure he had the job???  Yup.......FAITH.......

We began listing stuff on craigslist in earnest and going through stuff again.  I don't even know how much stuff we sold, but we unloaded lots more "stuff" that was weighing us down.  It all sold almost as soon as we listed it.  More of God telling us this was going to happen. 

I called my dear friend Jennifer of Our Little Farm (remember she bought Tulip and Star?) and asked her if she'd take my 6 laying hens.  She said she would, and we kept selling stuff, my trio of Muscovy ducks included.

We told my folks we were leaving for Montana on the 9th of December and they planned to come down and visit us the weekend of the 3rd and 4th.  Now mind you we still hadn't gotten the confirmation call that we'd gotten the job.  Going on faith here folks, which is a heady and glorious feeling!!

Saturday morning, the 3rd of December the lady (who I'll from here on out be referring to as Mouse) gave us the call and said, well if you think you want to do this, then come on!  We told her we had to take The Youngun to the orthodontist in IL on December 8, and then we'd be on the road the 9th. 

We went to our little church one last time and told them where God was leading us and with some tearful goodbyes we were that much closer to being ready.

 We took Ellie and Ginger in to get spayed on the 7th, made a trip to IL to the orthodontist on the 8th, and spent all day on the 9th getting packed up and loaded, with help from The Man's family in KY. 

We intended to get on the road by noon on the 9th of December, but that didn't happen.  The first uhaul we got was too small, and of course we didn't realize that until we had it loaded!  Back to Bowling Green and a bigger uhaul.  Brought it home, unloaded the first one into the second one, loaded more stuff into the second one, took the first one back to Bowling Green while The Man and The Uncle finished loading the second one......whew!  We didn't think we'd ever get on the road! 

With the three dogs, we had to pre book our hotels to make sure we were in a dog friendly one, so we had to go ahead and leave to stay on schedule.  We stopped in Columbia MO the first night but it was around 3 am before we got there!  Then on to Chamberlain SD the second night, then to Laurel MT the third night and on December 12 at around 11 AM mountain time, The Man, the goodwife, The Youngun, the three dogs and the cat arrived at our new home!

Now I really am going to make you wait to tell you what job The Man is doing, and tie up some more loose ends you may be wondering about but that's ok cuz suspense is the spice of life right???

Till next time..........God Bless............

Life in Kentucky, and A Few More Changes.........

If you've missed posts one, two, three, and four, you may want to read them first!

As we settled into our new lives in Kentucky, I was still fighting God on some things.  I'm not proud of this.  I think usually I'm pretty good at letting God have the reins, but on some things I have to take my time coming to terms with His plan.  One of those things was letting my goats go.  I held on and cried, and held on and cried and then I finally accepted that God didn't want me to have goats right now.  As you may remember from this installment of our story, my goats were over at The Aunt and Uncle's place.  Tommy had to be housed with Tulip, Star, and their six kids and that wasn't working out so well.  A buck will run does ragged because they are pretty much always ready to breed, even if the girls aren't, especially a Pygmy like Tommy.  The 3 buck kids were also running their sisters ragged and I was stressed to the breaking point. 

I put Tommy and 4 of the kids on craigslist and sold them quickly.  That alleviated some of my stress and I settled in to milking my girls.  The Aunt and Uncle's 100 acre farm is only about 4 miles from where we live, but I had to make that 4 mile drive in Black Betty.  It was costing me $20 a week to go over and do my chores.  As a few weeks went on, the grass and brush in the 1 acre paddock they were in was gone.  My girls were losing weight.  We are not in the financial position to be spending money on extras, and sadly that includes critters.  I had to make a choice between Champ and the goat girls.  I lay on the couch in The Man's lap crying my fool eyes out and then I accepted that God wanted me to sell my girls. 

I got on the computer and emailed my dear friend Jennifer from Our Little Farm.  She lives about 45 minutes from where we are now and she's been a saving grace to us on this journey.  I asked her if she knew anybody that would want to buy my girls, each with a doe kid at their side.  She said she didn't really know of anybody, but then she emailed me back and said she was talking with her husband about it and would get back with me.  In the meantime, I also sold off a bunch of my little pullets, leaving me with only 6 pullets and three ducks.  A really perfect and manageable number.  Jennifer got back with me and said she wanted to buy my girls!  Whew!  Such an answer to prayer.  They have a wonderful home with Jennifer and her family and she is milking them and loving them and that means everything to me. 

We still have our three dogs, our cat, the 6 laying hens, and our Muscovy drake and his ladies.  They free range during the day and are giving us enough eggs for us to eat.  No extras, but that's ok, we have enough for us and I can afford to feed them!  I of course still have Champ, and he is here at our house with me now.  He's right out my bedroom window and I love hearing him nicker for me in the mornings.
 

Notice that he's nappin in the sun right out my backdoor, see the doorknob?

Selling Champ is not, and has not ever been an option.  If the Lord leads us somewhere else and I can't take him, I'll put him down.  He will be 24 in the spring and I'll not take the chance of him being neglected somewhere else.  Of course, if God were to present me with a home for him, I would follow God's direction, but the thought of trusting his welfare to another person is oh so difficult for me, especially as I'm surrounded by horribly neglected and starving horses.

God has provided The Man with a job.  He makes in a month what he used to make in a week, but he is relatively stress free, and happy.  We have enough.  Having enough is huge, and God is good.  We aren't on any state aid, although we do qualify and if it gets to where we need it we will apply.  We don't have health insurance anymore, but our faith in our Heavenly Father is better than any insurance policy on earth.

Our bankruptcy is final and our credit score didn't take as big a hit as we had feared.  I think because it was so high to begin with.  However, we've both decided not to borrow money for anything.  If we can't pay cash, we'll do without.  We were able to sell The Dodge and we've got that money in savings, to be used for emergencies.  We wanted to live the self-sufficient lifestyle, but there is absolutely nothing self sufficient about being deeply in debt.  This is the first time in our marriage that we've been footloose and fancy free.  The first time we've ever rented, the first time we've been unfettered and it is a good feeling.  We are constantly praying and asking God to show us.  Show us what to do, show us where to go, show us how to be better servants to Him.  Our family is closer than ever and our marriage is still steady as a rock.  I know the reason for that......God is the head and the center of our lives. 

Will we stay here?  Who knows!  We certainly don't.  We are asking God to guide us where He would have us.  Use us, let us be shining lights for Him.  We are still homeschooling Shayla but are beginning to feel strongly that God wants us to put her back in school.  We've told her to pray deeply about it, as well as praying about it as a family.  We are His to do with as He will.  Our faith, while already strong, has grown by leaps and bounds.  I can't wait to see what He does with us next!

Thank you dear readers for your comments, thoughts, and prayers.  Please know you've all been on my mind and I've missed you dearly.  I'm back though because I love to witness through my blog and I love sharing with you all.  Reading about your triumphs and your trials is a great comfort and inspiration to me. 

We may no longer be Goodwife Farm, but I remain, as always, the Goodwife!

Until next time,

God Bless...........

Kentucky Bound, and Tragedy Strikes........

Installment one, two, and three.....

I'm going to take the time now to tell you a little about The Man's sister.  She is his older sister and his only full sibling.  She has two young adult children and at the time of our move was married to a man 12 years older than her.  Her husband Ron was very ill with diabetes and heart disease.  He had lost a leg several years ago.  Ron was a character to put it mildly.  He was the kind of person either you loved or you hated, with no middle ground. 

A couple days before our move, The Sister and Ron drove out to California for an experimental medical treatment.  A last ditch effort.  You see the doctors had told Ron there was nothing they could do for him.  I don't know how many heart attacks he had, but in January of this year he was in the hospital for over a month, and they spent last Christmas in the hospital with him as well.  He also had one two days before they left for California.  The doctors told him he would simply continue to have small heart attacks until he had one big enough to kill him.  The Sister was his rock.  She was his caregiver, his lover, his friend, and he was her knight in shining armor, albeit his trusty steed was a wheel chair and a golf cart instead of a shining destrier!

We made it safely to Kentucky and got everything unloaded.  By Sunday July 3 (The Man's 38th birthday) we were totally unpacked and settled in.  As you may remember we don't mess around when it comes to work!  My folks left to go home on the 4th and we began to acclimate ourselves to our new home.  Champ and the goats were over at his aunt and uncle's 100 acre farm and I went over every day to tend to them.  The Youngun decided maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all and we were excited to see where God would send us.

Early the morning of July 12, The Man's aunt and uncle came over to tell us Ron had suffered a massive heart attack and passed away.  The Sister was in the room with him, alone, more than two thousand miles away and she performed CPR on him until the paramedics arrived, but he was already gone.  Our niece, who is 18, was across the driveway home alone, so The Sister had called Aunt and Uncle W to come over and break the news to her, and also to let us know because she couldn't get us on our cell phone.  The Man and I immediately thought perhaps this was God's reason for sending us here.  It took almost a week for The Sister to get home and it's been a long road with the grieving process but they are all getting there. 

At Ron's memorial service a wonderful man preached the service and we were in awe at his passion and devotion to the Lord.  He is pastor of a church about 5 miles from the house and we've been attending every Sunday since the memorial service.  What a blessing it's been to us to find a church that is truly about following God!!  Every single Sunday Brother Willie says, "Mind the Lord children."  Truer words were never spoken, and how wonderful our lives become when we truly do mind the Lord!  To say that things have been totally smooth and easy would be a lie, and I'm going to tell you more about that in the next installment.


To Be Continued......................

The Move to Kentucky..........

If you haven't already, please read installments one and two......


God was really pushing us to Kentucky, even though we weren't sure we really wanted to go.  We decided to take a deep breath and trust God.  The Youngun wasn't happy and there were lots of tears on her part.  She didn't want to leave Pop Pop and Granny, or the Darling Cousin.  We understood but we also explained to her that when you pray for God's guidance and direction in your life, you must be prepared for Him to give it!  We've always prayed for God to show us the way and for Him to give us the courage to follow.  Well He was asking us to put our money where our mouth was so to speak! 

Wednesday, June 29th, The Man and I loaded The Dodge up on a car trailer and pulled it down to Kentucky with our truck Black Betty.  I followed in our S-10 pickup.  We made it a one day run, so were on the road roughly 15 hours.  We dropped The Dodge  and the S-10 off and then went over to his aunt and uncle's place to hook up their stock trailer and haul it back to IL.

On July 2, 2011 we had a 26' U-haul loaded up with our belongings.  We also had the stock trailer with Champ, the goat girls; each with three kids at their side, our cat Willow, and the chickens and ducks. Our little convoy was ready to leave at 6 AM.  It was very hot and I was worried about the critters on our 7+ hour drive down.  The Man drove the U-haul with our dog Ginger along for company.  My dad and mom, along with their dog Pepper, drove our truck Black Betty pulling the stock trailer, and The Youngun and I brought up the rear in my folks' vehicle with our two other dogs, Annie and my Ellie-Girl, in the back seat.  We were off!

Leaving our place behind wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I think because we were totally focusing on what God wanted us to do, and knowing that home is where the heart is.  Our hearts are with God, so home can be anywhere we make it!


To Be Continued.............

More On Our Whirlwind.......

First off I have to tell you all how much your comments meant to me!  I got tears in my eyes as I read them off of yesterday's post.  I've missed you all so much, and you can't know how much you mean to me!  K...now that we're done with the mushy stuff.....

Read the first installment here........

The next day we took my Challenger back to the dealership and asked them to buy it back. We knew what a precarious financial position we were in and didn't want to have the car repo'ed if we could do anything at all about it. They took the car back, paid off the note, and gave us 78 bucks to boot. We could cross that little worry off our list..........

We also put our house back on the market............

Next we went to our little local bank that has been so good to us over the past 7 years.  We had a $1500 note with them that we wanted to make sure was taken care of.  We explained to our dear friend and loan officer, Robin what our situation was and we paid the note off.  By the Grace of God we had that little bit of money in savings and were able to take care of it.  Robin was very supportive and said she would write us a letter of reference if ever we needed one.

We next began to explore our options.  As many of you may remember we've always wanted to move south, or west, or somewhere.  We began to pray and ask God where He'd like us to go.  We were feeling strong nudges toward Kentucky.  The Man called his sister.  She has 4 acres and there is a single wide house trailer on her property right across the driveway from her house.  It was fixin' to be empty and we could rent it for $350 a month.  We went down to check it out and see what we thought.  We didn't think......we came home thinking we didn't want to move down there.  We were still thinking on what WE wanted instead of what God wanted for us.  We had gone down there with preconceived notions of what it would be like and those notions were bashed bloody against a rock.  It wasn't at all what we'd thought it would be.

The Man began to look for work in IL, all to no avail.  We also weren't getting any interest in our house.  We weren't upside down on our mortgage, but we weren't in real good shape either.  We continued to pray, asking God to show us where He'd have us go.  We also began the process of filing bankruptcy.  This was so shameful for us.  A real blow to our pride, as we've always taken great pains to be sure our credit was impeccable.  At the time of our filing my score was 803 and The Man's was 798, however we had no choice.  We didn't really live beyond our means, but we lived at our means, that's for sure.  There was no way we could even pay our next house payment, let alone all those to come.  The Man didn't want to go back into a high stress job and I didn't want that for him either, so we chose to let God lead us and we filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  We also decided to accept that God wanted us in Kentucky...........

Continued soon.....

God Bless................

Hello Dear Friends!

I have no idea if anybody even still reads my blog since it's been months since I've posted anything.  If any of you are still there, I'm here to tell you of the ride we've been on!

Do any of you remember this post?  Well boy howdy, did He bring some changes to us!! 

In the 3rd week of May, The Man's employer sent him on a business trip for some training. (Remember he was the Operations Manager for a trash company.)  Naturally, since we've never spent a night apart, I went with him.  On Thursday, May 19th 2011 he was on the 4th day of his training, and we were scheduled to head back home on the afternoon of the 20th after his final day of training was done.  The afternoon of the 19th I was lounging on the hotel bed because my back had gone out and I couldn't do anything else, when The Man came walking in the door.  I said (jokingly because that's what I always say when he comes in earlier than I expect him to), "What are you doin' here, didja get fired?" To which he responded, "Well I think so, we have to go home."  I just looked at him..............uh........what???  He said one of the big head guys from the company had called him and said he needed to come home.  Well we knew what was coming.  We knew they weren't going to call him home with one day left if it was good news!  We threw everything in the car (my 2009 Challenger that I was so fond of) and headed back to IL. 

Upon our arrival back in IL, he took me home and then he headed in to his work.  They fired him.  They had already fired the GM the day before, and they fired him as soon as he got in.  May 19, 2011 God let us know without a doubt that He wanted us to do something different!  My husband has never been fired in his life.  He's never been disciplined at any job, this one included.  This came totally and completely out of the blue.  $80,000 a year one second and penniless the next.  No severance, no reference letter, nothing.  Seriously......we had around three thousand bucks in savings with a $1400/month house payment, not to mention the car payment of $500 and all the credit card bills, as well as a small loan at our local bank for the boat.

Now you may be thinking that our heads were rollin' around and were were contemplating bank robbery or possibly even looking for the lost city of Atlantis, but such was not the case.  Wanna know why?  As we were in the car on the way home, The Man said to me......"If we get there and they don't fire me I'm gonna be really disappointed."  Excuse me??  What's that now?  He said as soon as they told him to come home, he felt a great weight lift off his shoulders.  The burden of responsibility he'd been carrying for so long, the weight of what did God want us to do.....gone......definitively answered with a loud and resounding call.  God had been nudging us for a long time.  We weren't getting the message so He just jerked the rug out from under us.  He said.....if you aren't hearing Me, then I'll make you hear me, and He did.  We heard Him loud and clear.  It was time for a big change.............. 


please tune in soon for the continuation of our story!  I promise it won't take me long to post another chapter!

God Bless.........

Don't Worry........

My dad is a worrier.  He says  he's just a realist, but in my opinion he's a worrier.  I'm a realist.  I know bad things happen and I know they can happen at any time.  That said, God is my guidance and I don't borrow trouble.  Dad and I talk politics quite a bit.  I enjoy a rousing debate, but I don't worry about the state of things.  Let me stress that, I don't worry about the state of our government or our world at large.  I think Dad thinks, because I don't get all upset and angry, I don't understand what is going on.  Let me assure you, I totally understand what is going on and I can get pretty passionate about it.  I've got a good grip on how messed up our world is and if I didn't have such a strong grip on my Savior, I'd imagine I'd be pretty tore up with worry and stress about it. 

God is in control.  There is nothing going on anywhere in the world that God doesn't know about.  How can I worry when I know God is in control?  If I truly believe God is in control, how insulting of me to worry about things?  It would be akin to slapping my Lord and Savior in the face for me to worry about day to day matters.

The Man has a wonderful secure job.  Why??  By the Grace of God.  He has wonderful health insurance for the three of us.  Why??  By the Grace of God.  We have a lovely snug home to live in and plenty of food to eat.  Why??  By the Grace of God.  My husband may come home tonight and tell me his job is gone.  Maybe we'll lose our home, or a loved one.  Anything can happen at anytime.  There are no guarantees in life.  The only certainty we have is our Faith in God.  Knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control.  That gives me such a feeling of peace and security, much more so than anything else could. 

Now I'm not perfect and sometimes I do get a little scared.  I try to turn those fears over to my Jesus.  They are nothing to Him and when I truly let go of them, Peace descends on me.  We are truly blessed, because we have God.  Being His child and walking day to day with Him doesn't mean your life won't have hardship, it simply means He will take care of your hardships.........IF you let Him.

What I'm trying to say is this..........

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can

and Wisdom to know the difference. 

A simple prayer and a common one, but oh so true. 

 I can't change the government policies that are already in effect, but I can have the wisdom to know through voting I can make my voice heard.  I can't change the course my public school system is taking, but I can pull my daughter from that environment.  I can't make others live life right, but I can raise my daughter to be strong and confident, moral and ethical, and make sure my backyard is cleaned up rather than throwing stones at others.

  There are so many things I can't change, and I won't let myself get upset about them.  Is that a simplistic view of things?  Probably.  I'm just so thankful for my childlike Faith.  You know how when you were a little kid, you thought there was nothing your daddy couldn't fix?  Well that's how I feel about my Heavenly Father.  There is nothing He can't fix and because we are His children, and He loves us, we'll be ok.  Does that mean I think nothing bad will ever happen to me?  Of course not.  I could be murdered at the grocery store tomorrow, or killed in a head on car crash, or The Man or The Youngun could be taken from me.  What I do know from the depths of my being, is that God is in control.  Every blessing I have has been given me by God, and they are His to take away.  We've done nothing on our own.  God has chosen to give us these gifts and God may choose to change our lives at any time.  We have no say.  Let me say that again, we have no say in where God takes us.  We think we do, and we'd like to, but in reality we don't.  I feel that when we finally accept that Truth, our lives will really become wonderful. 

It is God's plan that I was born in America in 1977 instead of France in 1456.  It was God's plan for me to meet and marry The Paintiff and nothing I did made it happen.  We must open our minds to God's guidance, however scary it may be, because when we are still trying to control where we go and what we do, God can't truly work in our lives.

God Bless..........................

Sherriff Ed Earl Dodd....................

Do you know Ed Earl?  He's the character played by Burt Reynolds, opposite Dolly Parton's Miss Mona in that most wonderful of movies, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  In that movie Ed Earl is trying to keep the Chicken Ranch open and he gives this impassioned speech to the governor......

"I've been fightin' crime all my life but let's not confuse crime with committing a sin. You can't legislate morality. Those girls out there have never caused any trouble to anybody. They're healthy, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens who supply a demand and provide an economic asset to the community."  

Now at the risk of whackin' a hornets nest, I've got to say I wholeheartedly agree.  You simply cannot legislate morality.  You cannot force people to be good.  The idea of a "law" regarding a moral issue in my opinion is ridiculous.  A moral person would never do it, and an immoral person isn't going to care one whit that it's illegal.  For example, I, as a sane person, would never murder my neighbor for walking his dog on my lawn.  Does it piss me off?  Sure, but I'm not going to kill the guy over it.  That would be immoral.  Now lets say that murdering my lousy neighbor for letting his dog pinch a loaf on my yard was suddenly made legal.  Am I going to sit on my porch with the 12 gauge loaded with deer slugs and just wait for that sucker to come by?  I should hope not because even if it was legal, it would still be immoral.  Killing somebody over a little dog poop is just plain wrong.  Now if he is coming into my home uninvited with the intent to harm me or my family, that is another ball of wax all together.  Is it still illegal to kill him??  You bet.  There will be an inquest and all sorts of investigations and whatnot.  If I live in the right state I'll probably get off with no charges, but it's still illegal.  However, in that case, is it immoral?  Not to me it isn't. 

There is a headline in St. Louis right now that says.........

"Belleville woman sold kids' Christmas gifts for crack"

Hmm..........isn't crack illegal?  I'm pretty sure it is, last time I checked anyway.  Now, if the use of crack were legal, would a moral person steal their kids' Christmas gifts to get money to buy said crack?  In my honest opinion, drugs are a moral issue and illegality certainly hasn't stopped the use of them.  I'm not saying all drugs should be made legal, but making them illegal has surely not helped the people who are addicted.  If the pull of drugs is so strong that you would steal from your own children, then you need serious help, not necessarily jail time.

Laws were/should be created to protect people from others.  They should protect children and animals.  I don't need a law to protect me from myself.  Murder is, of course, wrong, rape, child abuse, animal abuse, of course all wrong.  Gay marriage............polygamy.......smoking, alcohol, drugs................the use of seat belts............purchasing raw food products..............what I can and can't buy at the store?  None of this has any business being legislated by our government in my opinion.  If you are an adult or two consenting adults it is nobody's business what you are doing as long as you aren't harming anyone else.  How do I feel about all these issues I just mentioned?  Well that doesn't matter because they are moral issues and something you must decide on for yourself.  For the record, I really don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone to live my life the way I want to live it.  How I choose to live my life is between God and I and quite frankly it's no-one else's business.  I'm an intelligent adult.  I have the capabilities to make decisions for myself and I respect the abilities of other adults to do the same.

In closing, I'd just like to say this...............

We are born with free will.  This is how God designed us.  He is the Supreme Creator.  He could have created us anyway He chose and He chose to give us free will.  God wants us to be good and moral, but He doesn't force us.  He wants us to choose right.  If our Creator and Savior gives us the right to choose, how in hell does our government think they know better?  How can they possibly think they can make the world a more moral place through the passage of laws?  Please don't misunderstand me.  I'm not saying we should throw all caution to the wind and have no laws.  That would be anarchy.  We need laws to keep the populace safe.  We don't need laws to keep the populace moral.  Morality must be taught at home.  We must teach our children right from wrong, and right from wrong can be subjective.  I'm sorry and I know that may really honk some folks off, but it's true.  I'm a very black and white person, but even I know that right to some is wrong to others.  We don't drink.  I have no use for alcohol and I hope that The Youngun doesn't drink.  Does that mean I think alcohol is immoral?  Of course not, it just isn't for us.  In our home, Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life.  I wouldn't want to live in a place where my right to that belief was taken from me.  If I want my rights preserved, then I have to fight for the rights of others to be preserved.  Is it wrong to not believe in God?..........well in my home it is wrong, but if I want to be able to believe how I wish, and raise my daughter to have those beliefs then I must respect the beliefs of others.  How could it be otherwise?

As always during my rants, I must give you my disclaimer.  I love a good debate and as long as you keep your comments polite, plenty of passion is ok!  ;)       

PS, The Man had to go into work at 1:15 AM because we are having an ice storm.  After getting him off to work and laying back in bed, my little pea brain was a swirl with these thoughts and I couldn't get back to sleep until getting them off my chest. 

I hope you are safe and snug this fine December morn!

God Bless....................

Thankful for Unanswered Prayers.............

For so long I was wrapped up in wanting to move.  I always wanted to live out of Illinois, always yearning to be in Montana, or Florida, or Alabama.  After our last vacation to Florida and the subsequent resolving of The Crisis, God instilled in me such an appreciation for this beautiful patch of earth He has blessed us to be the stewards of.  This afternoon I took Champ over to graze at the neighbor's and I just lay back in the grass and soaked up the beauty of the land around me.  Standing at the barn looking to the back of our pasture with the sun going down in the west...........the beauty nearly moves me to tears!  God is good, and He knows what we need even when we haven't got a clue!

God Bless.............

Oh Where Oh Where Have My Little Dogs Gone........

Oh where oh where can they be??  That was the burning question Sunday evening when we were cleaning up from working on the barn.  As I mentioned, Ellie seldom ever leaves my side. 

These two.....

Not so much.

After getting our left-over wood stacked in the hay barn and gathering up all our tools, Ellie and I got in Black Betty to go up to the house and unload.  It crossed my mind that I hadn't seen Ginger for a little while, but I didn't think anymore of it.  We got in the house and were getting ready to get in the shower when The Man said

"Where's Ginger and Annie?"

Dun dun duuuhhnn!  Where indeed?  We took Ellie and went for a walk down in the back, calling and looking for them to no avail.  We got in Black Betty and made "the circle" around the county roads circling our property, to no avail.  By this time it's dark and I'm worried about my girls being out in the dark with no supper.  All 4 of our dogs are house dogs mind you and I was concerned about them spending the night without the comfort of the couch!  I was also starting to panic because The Youngun wasn't home and how the holy crap was I gonna tell her her dog was gone!!

We came in, got our shower, and I started supper.  I turned the front porch light on and left the door open so if they came home that way I'd see them at the door.  We knew they'd gone the other way though, probably got down in our creek after something and just were following it.  Annie is half coon-dog so once she gets a snoot full of scent she won't come back until she's good and ready.  The Man went out to look in the pasture to see if they were at the gate waiting to be let into the yard.........nothing.  I was planning to call the local shelters Monday morning and get some flyers made up.

We ate supper and when we said grace, I asked God to keep our dogs safe.  I asked if it were His will to please bring them home, and if not for some nice person to take them in.  Right before bed I went out the back door and heard Ginger bark!  Whoo hoo!  Ellie and I walked to the pasture gate and Ginger was snuffling and whining to get through.  Annie was sitting in the barn door at that gate waiting to be let into the yard.

Needless to say they were happy to be home, Ellie was happy to see her sisters, and I was thanking God!  From now on Ginger and Annie can't go into the pasture..........if they can't be trusted to stay close, then they'll just have to lose that privilege! 

She looks the picture of innocence doesn't she? 

God Bless.......

A Perfect World......My Thoughts on God and Freewill.......

Oh oh, here we go..........the Goodwife's been thinkin' again.  I was just vaccuming my hardwood floors when this popped into my head.  As you know, if it pops in, I gotta let it out and share it with you all.......so here we go.

God gave us free will.  He could have made us robots, or dummies, or I don't know what, but He chose instead to make us human, full of failings and oh so very full of free will.  We have so many choices in our day to day lives.  God doesn't force us to do the right thing.  He usually doesn't strike us down in the midst of a bad choice, no matter how bad or even evil that choice is.  That's because He wants us to repent and He wants us to have the chance to make the right choice the next time.  That's powerful love, that is. 

Being Christian isn't about living in a bubble away from temptations and the world.  It's about being faced with evil and temptations every day and making the right Godly decision.  God put us all here in the midst of immorality and decay and said Do the right thing even when the wrong thing is easier or more fun.  I used to think abortion wouldn't exist in a perfect world.  Now I think in a perfect world, abortion would be an option, but no one would ever do it, because even though evil would exist, humans would rise above it the way God wants us to.  Ya know??

It's very hard to convey what I want to in the written word.  I'm a much better oral communicator, but I hope you got at least the gist of what I was saying.  As always, feel free to comment and disagree and as long as you keep the hate out, I'll leave 'em up! 

Till next time..........God Bless!

More Thoughts.....And These Might Offend Ya....... :)

God put these thoughts on my heart yesterday and I wish I'd found  made time to get them down cuz sometimes if I don't then they flit away and I can't catch them again.

I'm such a sinner.  So evil and rotten and mean and just plain ole' not good. I cuss (although having to pay The Youngun $.50 per word has put a big dent in how much of that I do)  I have a wicked wit, a sharp tongue, and sometimes I'm not very compassionate.  I'm a do-er and folks who aren't do-ers get on my ever lovin' last nerve.  I don't have much sympathy for them.  I can be so short with the ones that I love, and my wicked sharp tongue can cut them deep before I even know what I've said.  I've got a filter with most things, although the folks who know me will find that hard to believe.  It's true though, as outspoken as I am, I don't say 1/10 of what goes through my head!  I'm proud (pride is one of the 7 deadlies ya know, but boy I've got bushels of it) and passionate and very vocal about the things I believe in.  You get me talking about something I feel strongly about and my blood heats up, I can feel my body temperature rising and even though I don't shout, my voice gets stronger and carries better and if it's something I'm REALLY passionate about I'll sometimes shake.  I can be a hard woman and that's not a good thing.  Life is black and white to me, either it's right or it's wrong, there is no in between.  There is no such thing as "the lesser of two evils" in my mind.  It's evil or it ain't and if it's evil then it's evil and you just can't choose to do it! 

Anyway, the point of this dissertation into the mind of the Goodwife is this...... I am all of those things I said and more.  I'm weak and unworthy and I fail my Lord every single day multiple times over.  There is only one thing in this life I'm certain of.  There is not a doubt in my mind that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, walked this earth, loving, preaching, teaching.  Not a doubt in my mind that He willingly went to that cross to die for my evil-ness.  Not a doubt in my mind that His death saved me.  As full of sin as I am, God made me.  He knows me, all the inner evil that I can manage to hide from ever'body else, I can't hide it from God and He loves me anyway! 

Yesterday The Youngun and I had to run to town (for the THIRD TIME this week!) and on the way home we were discussing God and Jesus as we so often do.  We got to talking about the Crucifixion and what a wonderful gift that was.  I told her how when I'm having a bad day I feel so incredibly selfish.  What right do I have to think I'm havin' a bad day?  Jesus Christ was humiliated, beaten, nailed to a cross and hung there to die, just so we sinners don't have to.  THAT my friends was a bad day!  Jesus didn't do anything to deserve that, and there is nothing we can do to deserve salvation, but He gives it freely.  That's powerful stuff. 

Sanctimonius people honk me off.  I'm really going to open up here and tell you that I don't go to church.  I was raised in church, and The Paintiff and I have gone off and on a few times in our 14 years of marriage, but I don't like the fact that there is a mere human being standing up on a raised platform telling me what a piece of trash I am.  Boys and girls, I know I'm a piece of trash, but so are you.  So is ever'body who's ever walked this beautiful earth God created for us.  There's only been One who was worthy, and He's the one who died for us.  Should have been all of us who died for Him, but we weren't even worthy of that, if you understand my meaning.  We aren't good enough to die for Him. 

Some "Christian" groups scare me to death, with the hate that they spew.  That's why you've got to live for the Lord every single day, not just on Sunday.  The Jesus that I know loves everybody.  He loves Charles Manson, and He loves Ted Bundy, and He loves Ellen Degeneres, and He loves the registered sex offender down the street, the abortion doctor murderin' babies, and the poor misguided woman layin' on the table.  He sure doesn't love the behavior, but He loves their soul just ever' bit as much as He loves mine or yours.  You know all those sins I just told you I commit, and all the wickedness that lives in my soul and God loves me anyway?  Well he loves those folks too.  I don't believe there are "degrees" of sin.  I believe in God's eyes, sin is sin is sin is sin is sin.  I don't believe it's my place to judge folks, or tell them they are livin' wrong.  I tell ever'body I know about my love for Jesus, as does The Youngun and The Paintiff.  In my mind the very best two ways to witness to folks are by living and loving Jesus ever' day and instead of tellin' them what's wrong with them tell 'em what's wrong with you, cuz brother we've all got material there.  Urge them to read the Bible and figure it out for themselves.  You'll never ever have a rock solid relationship with Jesus until you've been face down with your nose resting right on the floor, crying your heart out to Him.  You can go to church every single Sunday and sing the hymns and shout Amen's and put your money in the collection plate and quote the Bible with the best of them but until you've stripped your soul bare and given it all over to Jesus, until you've given up every last bit of control to Him, until you've said with your soul, not just your mouth that you are a worthless sinner, you are cheating yourself out of a really awesome thing. 

I used to be a little bit afraid of dying.  When I was a young teenager, I used to cry every year on my birthday because I just knew I was going to die on my birthday.  A few years ago I was in bed sleeping and I had the most beautiful vision.  I was in flowing white robes and my hair was all down my back.  I was walking in the most beautiful garden I've ever seen in and I came upon an old man sitting by a huge old tree next to a small pool.  He was old and white haired and had on white robes and he had a twisted wooden staff.  He didn't say a word to me, but the feeling of peace that came over me was just amazing.  I was flooded and I didn't want to leave.  I truly didn't want to wake up and leave that place.  Of course I did wake up and I knew then and I know now that I'd had a glimpse of Heaven.  I've not been afraid of dying since.  I actually look forward to sitting next to that pond with that old man again.  Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly want to die just right now.  I've got lots of living to do yet, but if God decides to call me home, brother I'm ready to go.  I've got my bags always packed!  The Youngun has said to me, Mama I don't want you to die.  To which I reply, Well I'm gonna someday, when God calls me home, but I'll be waitin' in Heaven there for you.  The Youngun isn't afraid of death either because she knows it's just another step and she's got a long list of topics she's like to talk about with the folks who've gone on!

Wow............I should probably stop there and perhaps another day God will put some more stuff on my heart and my mind to share.  If I've offended anybody....well....I have to do what God puts on my heart, regardless of who I might upset.  I do like debate though, so if you'd like to leave any comments, positive or negative, well that's all right with me.  As long as you are respectful, I'll leave them up!  ;)

Till next time.........God Bless!   

14 years.........

14 Years ago today, I became a wife.  Before God I stood up and declared from this moment on, just as the Bible says in Genesis; chapter 2, verse 24, I would be one flesh with this man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  There are so many places in the Bible that refer to marriage and how it should be, but this is the first one.  Marriage is important and I take it very seriously.  It is important enough that woman is created in verse 22 and the first Biblical law regarding marriage is mentioned in verse 24.  When I talk to The Youngun about marriage, we talk about this verse.  I tell her.......If you don't love the man enough to leave your Daddy and me, then he just isn't the right one to be marryin'!  Marriage is forever and you need to choose your partner very wisely.  I pray for her future husband all the time.  I pray that she will have the good sense to wait until God sends her the right man, and not to get married just because. 

Anywho, 14 years ago today I became Mrs. Man and they've been 14 good, good years.  What's that?  You want to hear the story of how this all came about?  Well pull up a chair, getcha some tea, and here we go!

Our story begins way back in June of 1995.  I had just graduated high school and my dad decided for me that I needed to get a job........as in he came in the living room one morning and said GET A JOB......TODAY!  LOL!  So I waltzed into the IGA store an unemployed high school graduate, fresh faced and eager, and waltzed out an 18 year old with a full time job, complete with benefits!  Have you figured out yet that God had a hand in this from the beginning? 

I worked in the deli there at the IGA with a lot of really fun older (than me) ladies.  The meat department manager was a guy named Mike, and let me tell you he was a BEAR!  The other ladies didn't like dealing with him, so they decided to send the new meat back there to get the chicken each day.  I would bounce back there all perky and happy and just let his grouchiness bounce right off me.  After all, I grew up with the grouchiest person on the planet (DAD)!  There was this other fella that worked in the meat department, and he was younger, cuter, and not near as grouchy, but it was a little while before I really noticed him. 

About a month after I started working there, I developed this crush on the produce guy, a kid of about 19 named Casey.  I was trying everything I knew to get Casey to like me, but he just wasn't bitin', not at all.  We would talk and that sort of thing, but he wasn't interested in me romantically.  I spent alot of time in the produce room, which was adjacent to the meat room and at that time, just happened to be where everybody went for smoke breaks.  I didn't smoke, but I wanted to be wherever Casey was so I was back there a lot. 

Then this little blond meat guy started coming up to the deli every morning as soon as he got to work to buy a fountain Mt. Dew.  My ever so helpful older co-workers always made sure that I rang him out.  Me being the friendly sort asked him his name and then every morning I would say Hi! ----!  He would blush a little, and grin, and say hi back.  This went on for several months, until we were into winter time. 

In late December, Casey had a birthday.  I was still trying so hard to get him to like me (poor thing), so on my day off, I baked him a spice cake, and set off in a blizzard to bring it to him.  Every day at work, I wore my IGA polo, with a ball cap on and my ponytail through the back.  So this day I got myself all dolled up, hair curled, make-up on, the whole nine yards just so Casey could see how good I cleaned up.  I took that cake back in the back and said Happy Birthday.  He wouldn't even eat a piece of it.  As a matter of fact, he told me to lose 40 lbs and come back.  Nice fella huh??  Well The Man happened to be sitting back there smokin' a cigarette and he came over to see the cake.  When Casey said he wouldn't eat it, The Man said......I'll eat it!!  And he proceeded to eat about half of it.  After that we started talking pretty regularly, and he was trying to get Casey to take an interest in me.  Meanwhile, one of the older meat guys stopped me one day as I was walking past the meat case.  He said........We sure do tease him about you!  I said........Why?  And he said........Cause he's got a really jealous girlfriend who'd kill him for talking to you.  I was horrified!  I said..........Well I'll quit talking to him then!  I don't want to cause him any trouble!  And Mac said.........Don't you dare!  He'd kill us if you quit talking to him.  It makes his day!

Along about the end of December '95, first of January '96 The Man and I started talking about deeper stuff.  Hopes, dreams, life goals, morals.  We talked about the relationship he was in and how it wasn't good.  I asked him.........Don't you want to get married?  His reply........Not to her.  Don't you want kids?  Not with her.  That made me unbearably sad and I asked him why he didn't end the relationship.  He said Cause I buy a dog when it's a puppy and I keep it till it dies.......That may sound corny to you, but that spoke of a deep commitment to relationships to me and again made me very sad for him. 

Mid January 1996, I was talking about my birthday coming up.  The Man came to work one day and said, You wanna go out for your birthday?  Me being the ever so sophisticated one said suspiciously.......With who?   See I knew he had a little brother and thought he was trying to fix me up with him.  He said.....With me.   To which I tartly replied....Not as long as you are living with that girl! 

The Man came to work the next day and told me he moved out of his house and would I go out with him on January 30 (my 19th birthday).  I said yes. 

Meanwhile he had a time getting her to move out and accept that things were finally really over this time.  It took 3 days and he had to stay at his folks the whole entire time.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had already went and bought an engagement ring during those three days, before we ever went on our first date.

January 25, 1996 The Man asked me if I would like to spend our day off together and go visit his grandparents.  I said sure, at this time still thinking this is just a casual date.  We spent the day together and had our first kiss on the way home that afternoon.  That evening when he took me home he told me he loved me.  I said.......excuse me?  He said he loved me and I told him he was 7 kinds of crazy.  He said.....no I'm not, I love you.  I thought he was nuttier than a pet coon!  Good gracious, who says I love you before you've ever even had a real date??  I also thought he only wanted in my pants and I told him so.  He said.........no, I love you.  I said.......What if I don't say it back?  He said........That's ok, I'll wait till you do. 

I fell in love with that crazy 23 year old boy right then and there.  I loved him because he loved me first and that is a beautiful thing. 

January 30, 1996 I had to work in the morning and got a dozen roses delivered to the deli that morning.  After I got off work, I went home, cleaned up, packed a bag and informed my mama that I wasn't coming home.  She was so wonderful about it.  She said to me, I knew when it happened for you it was gonna happen fast and I'm so happy for you.  The Man picked me up, we had a flat tire, went to Steak n Shake, went back to his house and snuggled on the couch together.  From that moment on, in 14 years, we've never spent a night apart.  I'd also like to say (even thought it totally falls under the category of TMI), that we did not consumate our relationship until our wedding night.  Remaining a virgin until marriage was always a huge priority to me and The Man knew and respected that.  We got married on March 30, 1996 exactly 2 months after our first date, but in my heart I was his wife the first night I spent in his arms. 

Our marriage is rock solid because we put God first.  We look to Him for guidance in every thing.  I strive to be a good wife, a wife that is a loving helpmate, supportive, kind, and generous.  The Man is exactly the husband the Bible says he should be, a good provider, the head of our household, and he cherishes me.  He doesn't use flowery words, or expensive gifts, instead he shows his love in the ways that really matter, never leaving the house without kissing me and saying I love you, showing me respect when I'm with him and even when I'm not.  He would never be out with the guys and discuss another woman, or flirt with a waitress.  He even gets teased about that from the other guys.  We are completely open and vulnerable with each other, we have no secrets from each other.  We don't believe in "girls night" or "boys night out".  We married each other because we love each other and love being together.  We are apart for the 12-14 hours a day that he works, and that's enough!!

I lost a friendship with a woman who simply couldn't respect my marriage.  It bothered her no end that we did everything together.  She liked to tell me I needed a life of my own.  As I stated in the beginning of this post.........when I married The Man we became One Flesh.  I can't have a "life of my own" because without him, I'm half a person.  I joined my life with his and we became one life and that's the way I like it and the way I want it.  I don't force my views on others........you can have whatever kind of marriage you want and I'll respect it.  I may not understand it, I may not agree with it, but I'll respect it.  All I ask is that people respect my marriage as well.

It's been an amazing 14 years!  I love The Man so much that I can't even put it into words.  He is my lover, my husband, my brother, my best friend in the world.  When something exciting/scary/funny/great happens he is the first person I want to tell and I thank God every day for sending us to each other.   I could go on and on, but since you've probably already fallen asleep at the computer, I'd better stop for now. 

Till next time...........GOD BLESS