Tuesday, February 5, 2013
K, so some of you may remember this guy and that he's been gone for a little over a year.
It has been so hard without him. Really it has. I miss him so much, although like any loss, it is fading.
When we first went to Montana, things were too new and exciting, but after a couple weeks, I really started to pine for him or another equine pal. After moving back to KY it hurt to see the Amish horses and all the other horses around. I'd see the sun glistening off a flank and it would bring tears to my eyes.
As the months have gone on, I've been able to look at a horse in a pasture and appreciate the beauty without too much of a stab to the heart.
That said, I haven't tested myself around horses at all. Well except for twice. Once our Amish friend Andy rode down to the house on his mare and I petted and sniffed on her. He said I could ride her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Another time our neighbor Tyler rode over to the house and visited. I was super stressed out about some things. It was hot and his mare was drenched with sweat. As he got off her, I breathed deep. I swear to you, the smell of that sweaty mare immediately calmed me. It's true. I actually felt my pulse slow down. It was great.
Anywho I've done lots of soul searching on this matter. I don't think I want another horse. I know I don't want one right now. What Champ and I had was so special and I just don't think I'm ready to replace that. A horse also doesn't fit in with our homesteading plans. For what we have planned, every single thing has to contribute and a horse just won't bring enough to the table so to speak.
When my dear friend Jennifer of Our Little Farm got her horse she was very excited for me to come over and see her. Uh oh.........this wasn't something I was excited to do. Not at all. Hurts too much I thought, can't do it, I thought, it's too much to ask, I thought. I sent Jennifer an email explaining my feelings and of course she was so kind and understanding.
Then a couple days ago, Jennifer did a blog post about some trouble she's having with her mare. I thought to myself....Self......you have to go help her. For the love of horses, and the love of friendship, you have to go help her.
So I'm going......tomorrow morning when I get off work, I'm going to have my first close up interaction with a pony since Champ. It's all good though, because God blessed me to have a wonderful horse in my life for 11 years. The relationship we had was amazing. I shouldn't be so selfish as to demand to have that again. So I'm headed to Jennifer's, in the hopes that I can help her and her mare have something like I had with Champ.
All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a girl.........and every girl to be loved by a horse....
Thank you Lord for letting me have a such a great horse to love and to love me back!
Till next time.........God Bless........