Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Allowances..........and the Lack Thereof........

Work ethic is very important to The Man and I. The Youngun has a chore sheet listing her daily chores and she checks them off each day as she gets them done. She then picks herself out a pretty sticker and sticks it on the bottom of each day once all the chores are checked off. Some of the things on her chore list are; make bed, feed dogs (2x), feed rabbits (2x), feed fish, wash face, brush hair, brush teeth, and set the supper table. She also knows to help me in any task that I ask. We do not give her an allowance for doing her chores and here is why....

The Man and I believe that work ethic is seriously lacking in people today. Not just young people, pretty much anybody under 35 (and possibly even older than that!). I've thought about this at great length and this is what my little pea-brain has managed to come up with. My little disclaimer is that these are my thoughts and opinions and that's that. If you disagree, I respect that and would love to hear your views!

First and foremost, parents don't allow their children to be responsible. It's quicker and easier to just "do it themselves" so rather than teaching children to help out and help themselves, they tell them to get out of the way and let me do it. Or perhaps the kid doesn't do it "right" so the parent would rather just do it themself. When my daughter first started making her bed, let me tell you it was very loosely made. However she was 4 or 5 years old at the time and all I cared was that she was making the effort, we can work on the finished product as time goes on! Another problem I see is that parents don't train their children when they are very young. You can't let little Johnny run wild until he's 6 and then start laying the law down! It just don't work thataway! I'll never forget when The Youngun was a toddler. She didn't start walking until she was 15 months old. As soon as she started walking, I felt she was big enough to pick up her own toys (cuz as we all know a toddler's most favorite game in the WORLD is let's empty the toy box!). She had done her usual, removing everything from the toybox and getting inside it to play. When it was nap time, I said.....Youngun let's pick up your toys. No Mama! Yup, come in it's time to pick up. No! I walked over to her, to take her by the hand and pick up toys and she started screaming NO! I very calmly stood behind her, took a tiny little wrist in each hand, walked her over to a toy, used my body to bend her body over (because she was screaming and stiff as a board) and picked up the toy. Then we proceeded over to the toy box in that fashion, dropped the toy in, and picked up all the toys in that way. Mind you, it wasn't a fun time, but it had to be done. I didn't spank her, yell at her, or punish her, I simply showed her that when Mama said pick up the toys, the toys were gonna get picked up! The next time I told her to pick up the toys she picked them right up and she was as proud as can be that she was a big girl and picked up her own toys!

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble here and you'll have to excuse me. Back to the topic of work ethic and allowances. The Man and I belive that if you take a job, you should do the job to the best of your ability. If you are the head french fry salter at McBurger World, making 6 bucks an hour, you'd better salt those fries the very best way you know how, with the intention of being voted best fry salter in the nation. The amount of your paycheck should not determine your quality of work. We both believe that paying kids an allowance to do their chores is in effect teaching them to expect payment for work. If you don't get paid, you don't work. Help the old neighbor lady in with her groceries? Not unless I'm getting paid for it! Work hard and do your best at your minimum wage paying job? No way......not enough in it for me! Work hard on your lessons? Not without getting paid a dollar per A! To me, you are in essence training kids to feel entitled! It just seems to me that you are teaching them to expect a return, instead of just doing it because it's right. In my opinion all you are doing is teaching them terrible work ethic.

It scares me that the kids being raised today are going to be the folks in charge of things in a few years! Kids who feel like the world owes them a living, owes them a paycheck (without an honest days work). Our country was built on hard work, ingenuity, responsibility, honesty, integrity and work ethic. As a parent I feel the best thing I can do is raise The Youngun to be an honest, hard working, productive member of society. I want her to be independent and capable of taking care of herself. Whether she lives across town, or across the world, I want to know that she is walking with God every day, and always doing the right thing!

Till next time..............GOD BLESS!


  1. AMEN!!!!

    We did not give our kids allowance.. We didn't want to associate money with everyday things that pretained to living in our home..If they wanted to earn they could earn money by doing things for others..One older couple hired my Son to shovel her driveway...he would get a $1 an inch...My son was taught to help the elders and at first he did it for free and she didn't feel it was right so they made an agreement of the $1 an winter he made quite a bit..But soon he went off to college and she had to hire someone..When the same son wanted to fly those expensive remote control air planes he took on a paper route that was delivered once a week..All my kids know if you want to get somewhere you have to work hard.. I have gone into their work places and they will introduce me to their boss and their boss shakes my hand and says thank you because so and so has fantastic work ethics..

    We also wanted to teach our kids to be accountable of their money..When they were in middle and high school and before they got jobs we would give them some spending money..not alot because we had 4 was their choice in what to do with it..Save it, Spend it, give it to charity...They had to learn if they wanted to go to a birthday party they would spend that money. They got very creative with gift giving and their friends ended up liking their of my kids washed and cleaned out and vaccumed his friends car for a gift.. we did not require our kids to buy their own clothes or shoes that were a necessity...If they wanted a certain pair of shoes that were sky high we told them this is what we will spend if you want something different you come up with the rest..Shoe allowance was $50.. you have to remember this was 8 years ago.....They realized those designer shoes weren't that important anymore and they could get a few pair that were real nice to wear with that $50..My kids had clothes like crazy because they learned to go to Goodwill and thrift stores...My kids got me into that..

    My kids are all in college now and they know what is important..Some kids who are handed everything are sent off to college and realize they don't know how to make ends meet. They can't make it..There parents have done a disadvantage to them..

    Amen to you and your husband for raising kids with a work ethic...

    Have a wonderful day...Lisa

  2. Very well said. I will be the 1st to say though, I am one of those parents that always would just do it myself rather than ask them to do it..and as far as help with outside chores, I always do it myself...I have 2 boys mind you.
    But I am regretting my desicions now. My husband and myself have agreed on many occasions that our boys are spoiled and we did it,,no-one to blame but ourselves : (
    Your right, you gotta start early in life. I am just in the past year trying to get them to help more and more...heres an example:
    I buy feed during the day when there at school..I want to unload it my self, but I wait and get the boys to help me. I ask and they do who woulda thought it was that easy...I think to myself.
    I have always been the get up and do it type...I never ask for help..but lately I have been, just to get them boys to help out...uggghh cleanin there room is another thing...I give up on that one... I tell em to clean it or I 'm not dusting or vacuuming it.
    Doesnt seem to phase them. The laundry is another thing..I wash it, dry it, fold it, and sometimes deliver it to there room..ALL they gotta do is put it in there dresser...well it doesnt seem to make it. Okay well you get the jist of it..I am just a rambling on..can ya tell this is a one of those topics that get me fired UP!

  3. Hey tberry! I totally understand and as for the outside chores thing I really understand because I truly love doing my chores. I have to force myself to allocate things for my daughter to do, just because I enjoy doing them so much. Now that we are homeschooling though, we simply do them together night and morning, she takes care of her rabbits while I take care of the goats. It can be really hard to let go of the reins and let them do it. I also have to confess that my daughter's room is somewhat of a nightmare. Not really, just not as decluttered as I'd like it to be. That said, it's HER room and she does have the right to her space. She vaccums it once a week though, and puts her clothes away because I don't like to go in there. The urge to start getting rid of stuff is too big!! Thanks for commenting!

  4. Yes ma'am! I never received an allowance growing up. I was just expected to do my chores and whatever else my parents told me. I worked in a youth prison and was a juvenile parole officer. I saw why kids turned out the way they did. Parents, OMGosh! I finally had enough and went to adult convicts.

    The husband had his own fencing business for years. He couldn't keep help. No one wanted to work! Fencing is hard work and they wouldn't last. But they sure wanted that paycheck. Especially college kids. They were the worst.

  5. It's a very very sad state Wife! I totally know what you mean. My husband is in the trash business. Started out throwing trash, went to supervisior, and is now the Operations Manager over 70 drivers. He deals with that crap every single day! People who just want to sit on their lazy bums and collect a paycheck. ARGGGH!

  6. I 100% agree, and I'm a part of that generation of entitlement. I grew up having chores, but having no allowance - didn't hurt me one bit. I learned quite quickly that there are benefits to having said chores without payment, I could have my pet cat, rabbit, horses, ect. - because I took care of them, not because of a paycheck. You are spot on with the sense of entitlement my generation has today, it makes me sick. Thank the Lord there are good people like you and my parents who are trying in this world and succeeding! I'm getting a great college education for pennies because I gained a work ethic and worked hard for my grades and was thus awarded scholarships - somehow the lack of an allowance truly pays off in the end.

  7. You are so very right Amy! Good for you, and kudos to your parents for teaching you right from wrong.

    Ps.....lest you should think I'm an old codger, I'm 33.....LOL!

  8. Haha, thanks and no I didn't think so - I just knew I was clearly in the generation you were talking about. :D

  9. Couldn't agree with you more!
    Our kids don't get allowances either. It's a job called responsibility and you don't get paid each and every time you decide to do that job.

  10. Yes~I agree with you!
    Thank you for stopping by and your encouraging words. I have enjoyed visiting your blog today!

  11. i'm so glad to read that there are people like you still out there! i don't have any youngins yet, so I don't feel my opinion is that informed, but i've never liked the idea of allowance (maybe bc i didn't get one LOL). But to me, it's like parents pay their children to be their children. Especially the ones that don't have to do chores! I babysat for a woman that hated the idea of chores. She thought her kids should just be kids and that's it. They were some of the most disobedient, obnoxious kids I'd ever met! All kids get rambunctious, but they were out of control. I used to work in a daycare with the toddlers and I really like how you taught her to pick up her toys. Even the little ones need (and even want) discipline and direction

  12. Oh, I just love your posts because I agree with all of them! I will never give my children allowance, ever. I'm raising them up to work hard for wahat they NEED in life.
    I want them to have a strong sense of responsibility. I'm rambling and probably not wording anything right, because you literally took the words right out of my mouth! :)

  13. I feel the same way about your blog motherplusteacher! :)


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