14 Years ago today, I became a wife. Before God I stood up and declared from this moment on, just as the Bible says in Genesis; chapter 2, verse 24, I would be one flesh with this man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. There are so many places in the Bible that refer to marriage and how it should be, but this is the first one. Marriage is important and I take it very seriously. It is important enough that woman is created in verse 22 and the first Biblical law regarding marriage is mentioned in verse 24. When I talk to The Youngun about marriage, we talk about this verse. I tell her.......If you don't love the man enough to leave your Daddy and me, then he just isn't the right one to be marryin'! Marriage is forever and you need to choose your partner very wisely. I pray for her future husband all the time. I pray that she will have the good sense to wait until God sends her the right man, and not to get married just because.
Anywho, 14 years ago today I became Mrs. Man and they've been 14 good, good years. What's that? You want to hear the story of how this all came about? Well pull up a chair, getcha some tea, and here we go!
Our story begins way back in June of 1995. I had just graduated high school and my dad decided for me that I needed to get a job........as in he came in the living room one morning and said GET A JOB......TODAY! LOL! So I waltzed into the IGA store an unemployed high school graduate, fresh faced and eager, and waltzed out an 18 year old with a full time job, complete with benefits! Have you figured out yet that God had a hand in this from the beginning?
I worked in the deli there at the IGA with a lot of really fun older (than me) ladies. The meat department manager was a guy named Mike, and let me tell you he was a BEAR! The other ladies didn't like dealing with him, so they decided to send the new meat back there to get the chicken each day. I would bounce back there all perky and happy and just let his grouchiness bounce right off me. After all, I grew up with the grouchiest person on the planet (DAD)! There was this other fella that worked in the meat department, and he was younger, cuter, and not near as grouchy, but it was a little while before I really noticed him.
About a month after I started working there, I developed this crush on the produce guy, a kid of about 19 named Casey. I was trying everything I knew to get Casey to like me, but he just wasn't bitin', not at all. We would talk and that sort of thing, but he wasn't interested in me romantically. I spent alot of time in the produce room, which was adjacent to the meat room and at that time, just happened to be where everybody went for smoke breaks. I didn't smoke, but I wanted to be wherever Casey was so I was back there a lot.
Then this little blond meat guy started coming up to the deli every morning as soon as he got to work to buy a fountain Mt. Dew. My ever so helpful older co-workers always made sure that I rang him out. Me being the friendly sort asked him his name and then every morning I would say Hi! ----! He would blush a little, and grin, and say hi back. This went on for several months, until we were into winter time.
In late December, Casey had a birthday. I was still trying so hard to get him to like me (poor thing), so on my day off, I baked him a spice cake, and set off in a blizzard to bring it to him. Every day at work, I wore my IGA polo, with a ball cap on and my ponytail through the back. So this day I got myself all dolled up, hair curled, make-up on, the whole nine yards just so Casey could see how good I cleaned up. I took that cake back in the back and said Happy Birthday. He wouldn't even eat a piece of it. As a matter of fact, he told me to lose 40 lbs and come back. Nice fella huh?? Well The Man happened to be sitting back there smokin' a cigarette and he came over to see the cake. When Casey said he wouldn't eat it, The Man said......I'll eat it!! And he proceeded to eat about half of it. After that we started talking pretty regularly, and he was trying to get Casey to take an interest in me. Meanwhile, one of the older meat guys stopped me one day as I was walking past the meat case. He said........We sure do tease him about you! I said........Why? And he said........Cause he's got a really jealous girlfriend who'd kill him for talking to you. I was horrified! I said..........Well I'll quit talking to him then! I don't want to cause him any trouble! And Mac said.........Don't you dare! He'd kill us if you quit talking to him. It makes his day!
Along about the end of December '95, first of January '96 The Man and I started talking about deeper stuff. Hopes, dreams, life goals, morals. We talked about the relationship he was in and how it wasn't good. I asked him.........Don't you want to get married? His reply........Not to her. Don't you want kids? Not with her. That made me unbearably sad and I asked him why he didn't end the relationship. He said Cause I buy a dog when it's a puppy and I keep it till it dies.......That may sound corny to you, but that spoke of a deep commitment to relationships to me and again made me very sad for him.
Mid January 1996, I was talking about my birthday coming up. The Man came to work one day and said, You wanna go out for your birthday? Me being the ever so sophisticated one said suspiciously.......With who? See I knew he had a little brother and thought he was trying to fix me up with him. He said.....With me. To which I tartly replied....Not as long as you are living with that girl!
The Man came to work the next day and told me he moved out of his house and would I go out with him on January 30 (my 19th birthday). I said yes.
Meanwhile he had a time getting her to move out and accept that things were finally really over this time. It took 3 days and he had to stay at his folks the whole entire time. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had already went and bought an engagement ring during those three days,
before we ever went on our first date.
January 25, 1996 The Man asked me if I would like to spend our day off together and go visit his grandparents. I said sure, at this time still thinking this is just a casual date. We spent the day together and had our first kiss on the way home that afternoon. That evening when he took me home he told me he loved me. I said.......
excuse me? He said he loved me and I told him he was 7 kinds of crazy. He said.....
no I'm not, I love you. I thought he was nuttier than a pet coon! Good gracious, who says I love you before you've ever even had a real date?? I also thought he only wanted in my pants and I told him so. He said.........
no, I love you. I said.......
What if I don't say it back? He said........
That's ok, I'll wait till you do.
I fell in love with that crazy 23 year old boy right then and there. I loved him because he loved me first and that is a beautiful thing.
January 30, 1996 I had to work in the morning and got a dozen roses delivered to the deli that morning. After I got off work, I went home, cleaned up, packed a bag and informed my mama that I wasn't coming home. She was so wonderful about it. She said to me,
I knew when it happened for you it was gonna happen fast and I'm so happy for you. The Man picked me up, we had a flat tire, went to Steak n Shake, went back to his house and snuggled on the couch together. From that moment on, in 14 years, we've never spent a night apart. I'd also like to say (even thought it totally falls under the category of TMI), that we did not consumate our relationship until our wedding night. Remaining a virgin until marriage was always a huge priority to me and The Man knew and respected that. We got married on March 30, 1996 exactly 2 months after our first date, but in my heart I was his wife the first night I spent in his arms.
Our marriage is rock solid because we put God first. We look to Him for guidance in every thing. I strive to be a good wife, a wife that is a loving helpmate, supportive, kind, and generous. The Man is exactly the husband the Bible says he should be, a good provider, the head of our household, and he cherishes me. He doesn't use flowery words, or expensive gifts, instead he shows his love in the ways that really matter, never leaving the house without kissing me and saying I love you, showing me respect when I'm with him and even when I'm not. He would never be out with the guys and discuss another woman, or flirt with a waitress. He even gets teased about that from the other guys. We are completely open and vulnerable with each other, we have no secrets from each other. We don't believe in "girls night" or "boys night out". We married each other because we love each other and love being together. We are apart for the 12-14 hours a day that he works, and that's enough!!
I lost a friendship with a woman who simply couldn't respect my marriage. It bothered her no end that we did everything together. She liked to tell me I needed a life of my own. As I stated in the beginning of this post.........when I married The Man we became One Flesh. I can't have a "life of my own" because without him, I'm half a person. I joined my life with his and we became one life and that's the way I like it and the way I want it. I don't force my views on others........you can have whatever kind of marriage you want and I'll respect it. I may not understand it, I may not agree with it, but I'll respect it. All I ask is that people respect my marriage as well.
It's been an amazing 14 years! I love The Man so much that I can't even put it into words. He is my lover, my husband, my brother, my best friend in the world. When something exciting/scary/funny/great happens he is the first person I want to tell and I thank God every day for sending us to each other. I could go on and on, but since you've probably already fallen asleep at the computer, I'd better stop for now.
Till next time...........GOD BLESS
