Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Learning the difference......

As I make the journey to health and fitness I'm having to learn the difference in alot of things. One of the biggest things I'm trying to learn is the difference between binging (what I used to do) and not depriving myself (what I need to do). I don't have any trouble staying on plan, and I rarely use my weeklies. I simply don't have cravings or usually need to use them. If I do, then I do and it's no big deal.....most of the time. Of course when that sick, sadistic, evil @#$#%!#$$! TOM is tickling me, that is a whole nother ball of wax! That is the only time that I have cravings and unusual hunger. It is also the only time that I beat myself up about having cravings and unusual hunger. Hmmmm, that's a thinker. Anywho, I'm ravenous today. I'm completely on plan, not even into my weeklies and I've got my supper all programed in. I still have 2.5 dailies left and I'm really craving chocolate. I'd really enjoy a sliced up apple with some caramel, peanut butter, chocolate dip. This comes out to 5 points which will use 2.5 of my weeklies. This isn't a big deal. Intellectually I know this. Intellectually I know that I can have that little treat to satisfy that b@stard TOM and all will be well and good. My brain knows that isn't a binge. My head knows that it's simply satisfying a craving and nothing more. However the scared little fat girl that lives inside me (and TOM with the poking of my demon) is too afraid to do it. That poor fat little girl says DON'T DO IT MAN, it's a binge! I know it isn't a binge, but that little fatty just won't believe me! I sit here and I think, well if I eat less supper I won't use my weeklies. How silly is that? I mean, any other time I could care less about using my weeklies!!! My darling husband says all women who've had a baby are crazy half the time.....during TOM's monthly visits, I'm totally inclined to believe him.

Till next time.....I'm unTHICKINandsoTHINNIN!

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