I think.......

I think what I wish more than anything else (in regards to my food issues) is to be like a normal healthy weight person. I wish that I didn't have to obsess over food.......am I really hungry? am I eating too much? am I eating enough (not that that one is ever too much of a concern)? is this what I should be eating? UGH!!!!!! I just wish that I was one of those people who could get hungry, eat something, and then forget about the whole deal until I was hungry again. Unfortunately I'm not one of those type people and I really don't think I ever will be because every time I've lost weight before, I've almost immediately relapsed. I've gotten to a healthy weight, then I've relapsed almost instantly. It's like a yo yo for sure, I hit that weight low and BOING......go right back up. I want to just see food as fuel and then forget it. I feel like that is probably what normal people do...........but I just can't do it. I OBSESS about food.........all the time. In the past when I've lost weight, I don't think about it all the time. I feel pretty normal about food........get hungry........eat something..........then go on. But that sly little demon starts to sneak back around.........he says "hey, you're a healthy weight..........it doesn't matter that you aren't hungry.......go ahead and eat that piece of birthday cake...it won't hurt anything." And then before I know it I'm over 200 lbs again! It is such a struggle. I know I can do it......I've done it before.........I just long for the day when it is second nature............if that day ever comes!

Thank you Lord Jesus, for making me. You created me...........You love me............You are my strength............if only I will rely on you. I love you.

The full soul loatheth a honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7

This verse means to me that if my soul is full with the love of Jesus, then food won't even mean anything to me, but if my soul is hungry for Jesus, no matter what I eat will taste sweet, but won't fill the holes in my soul. Not sure if I articulated that well enough but...............

Til next time............I'll be unTHICKIN and soTHINNIN!