The beginning..........

Ok.......I've decided to convict myself and come clean...........I'm a food addict.............no seriously...........I've got problems! I started gaining weight right after 8th grade. I'm not exactly sure why..........but I wound up a 230 lb high school sophmore. I'm only 5'3" tall and I weighed 230 pounds. Then later in my sophmore year my dad got diagnosed with diabetes. The whole family went on a diabetic diet and I (pretty quickly I might add) got down to 165 pounds! Yaaay me! That's not that a bad weight for me as I'm a farm girl and I pack some muscle. I wore size 12 jeans and boy did I ever think that was exciting. I used to thump on my collar bones because I'd never had them before! LOL! Then I began working in a deli in a grocery store.........yup.........crack-whore in the pharmacy let me tell you! I (again rather quickly) shot up to 175. That is where I met my wonderful beautiful amazing husband Daddy P and we got married two months later. I worked in the deli for about a year after that and when I quit there I think I weighed about 190. Then we moved and I started working at a department store..........much better for a gal like me! I got pregnant with my daughter and after working there for 1 year and 1 month.......had my little girl and of course didn't go back to work. When I delivered The Yougnun I weighed 260 pounds. After her birth I discovered a program that worked pretty well for me at the time and I QUICKLY lost well over 100 pounds getting down to 148 (the thinnest I've ever been in my life......gracious I think I probably weighed 148 pounds in the 6th grade!) However......as is typical with me.........as soon as I hit 148 I began creeping back up........until I hit 260 again only 3 years later!! I stayed that heavy for quite awhile..........until about 3 years ago when I once again got myself together and got down to 175 pounds. Then........crack whore in the pharmacy again..........I got a job as the cook at a high school. Yup you guessed it...........WHAM.......back up to where I am right now............229 pounds as of this morning.

I am a beautiful, passionate, sexy, loving, caring, wonderful woman who also happens to be overweight. I'm strong, intelligent, and FAT! I'm a great cook, a pretty fair housekeeper, a gardener, a fab-u-los-o wife and a pretty cool mom. I want to be HEALTHY. Right now I am.......no high blood pressure, no diabetes, nothing else, but I'm sure it's coming. I know that if I don't get this weight off and KEEP IT OFF, that I'll be just like my dad, my grandpa, my uncle and my aunts, who all have weight problems and all have health problems as a result.

So..........last night I joined Weight Watchers online, and this morning I'm starting this blog. I hope that the blog will help me to be accountable. I tend to hide........and I've got to face this demon head on! That is the only way that I'm going to whip it once and for all. I am a pretty darn together lady in all other aspects of my life. This is my failing..............food. I pray about it alot, but frankly sometimes I feel like God gets sick of my whining! JUST DO IT...........put the food last.........it is only fuel after all, nothing more. But I'm the type of person who really really enjoys food. I like to buy it, prepare it, cook it, and most of all EAT IT! I like to look at recipes, and make new dishes. I've got to get a handle on this.

In this blog I'm going to report to you....my faithful readers (of which there are NONE lmao) every day about how I'm doing. I'm going to be honest, so it might not be pretty every day especially the first few weeks.............months.............ok years! I'm going to report to you my weight, and a photograph, weekly (YIKES........this is really gonna be ugly) because I feel that if I do that then I can't hide. I will be putting it out there for all to see and I'll have to face my food addictions.

Ok so if I ever get any readers, than you in advance........and even if I don't get readers, this will be like my online journal of.............THICKIN AND THINNIN!

God bless you all in your journeys.........whatever they may be!