Monday, September 13, 2010

Finding My Bliss............It's Been MIA for Awhile......

Now that The Crisis has passed and things are settling down I'm finding my bliss again.  It's really been gone for a loooong time and I didn't realize it until recently.  I think getting so overwhelmed with my critter situation is what brought it on as well as some other issues that I may or may not blog about at a later time. 

I've come to understand that God didn't want us to move, he just wanted us to sloooow dowwwwnn.  We can be a little dense sometimes (especially me) and I'm always so focused on figuring out what God wants us to do that I can be a little overzealous at times.  (No kidding Goodwife??  You??).  I went through a pretty serious identity crisis and I have no freakin' clue what that was caused by.  I suppose it could be my 30's, my family history, my weight crisis.  Who knows and I don't think the why of it matters so much as the outcome.  I'm working really hard on finding me again.  There is a song by Miranda Lambert that is really speaking to me at this time.  It's called The House That Built Me, and I love it..  It almost moves me to tears everytime I hear it and that's a lot cuz it's on my ipod.  I was just listening to it a bit ago while I was building my character (scooping poop) and I was inspired to write this blog post.  For some reason I've been denying who I am lately and I'm taking steps to change that.  Getting back to my roots of who I really truly am.

Me and Champ, about 5 years ago.
I love horses.  I've loved horses my entire life.  It's an odd relationship that is directly related to my struggles to lose weight, but that's probably way more psycho-babble than you are prepared to read, but I will say that being heavy has made me feel unworthy in regards to horses.  Anywho.........I've been trying to convince myself for the last few years that I'm "over" this love.  HA!  Not even close and that takes away a large part of my bliss.  I'm the ONLY SINGLE PERSON in my family who has this sad affliction.  I'm not just talking about my little family of 3, I'm talking about my extended family.  Now some of you may know that The Man and I don't do things seperately on the weekend.  That's good and I won't change that for anything.  That said, I need to ride, I need to play with my pony, I need to smell him, and feed him carrots, and brush him and when I don't a little part of me dies.  A little part of me has been dead for awhile now.  I'm bringin' her back to life though.  My old man Champ is a partial nutball and I can't ride him down the road.  That and not having a trailer greatly limits my riding (since you can cover 5 acres on a horse in about 5 minutes!)  I do have neighbors though and if I wasn't such a dumbass I could ask them if I could ride.  I've decided to stop being a dumbass..........  I'm going to ask if I can ride the edges of their fields and find my bliss. 

The Man is finding his bliss as well.  My husband wants water.  He's always wanted water.  We've discussed buying a lake lot, moving to the lake, moving to Florida, anything to get him on water.  When we got back from Florida he said "Ya know, I'm standing here looking at our place and I'm thinking...if I had a pond full of catfish here, would I want to move?  The answer is no."  This week we've got a guy coming to give us a bid on a small pond, and BAM, The Man has his bliss as well! 

The Youngun will have her bliss as long as she's got her Granny and Pop Pop, her Darling Auntie, and her Cousin L.  With us staying here, she will not be taken away from them and that's another beautiful thing.

We are committed to slowing things down. Rome wasn't built in a day and our little projects don't have to be completed in a day either.  We have a beautiful place but we are so frantically working on it, that we never take time to just enjoy it!

God is good, and I'm so thankful that no matter how stupid, selfish, corn-fuzed, or messed up we get, He's still good and He's still there! 

Now go find your Bliss, or if you haven't lost it, go enjoy it!!  ;)

God Bless.........


  1. Amen! We all should be taking notes from your experience. I too am finding my bliss, now that I've moved on with my life and what makes me happy, instead of trying to make everyone else happy :o)

    I am a horse junkie too and recently with the loss of our horse, there is now a HUGE blank spot,in my heart as well as on our small farm. Someday we'll get another but right now we're still mourning our loss. Enjoy Champ and give him a carrot and a kiss on his soft muzzle from all of us.
    Blessings and HUGS,

  2. I love that photo of your you and Champ, you look so happy!

  3. Rome wasn't built in a day? Sigh....

    I'm a bit impatient at times. Okay, most of the time. I have to refrain from nagging my husband to finish the remodeling. Fortunately, he's very good at reminding me of how much we have accomplished so far.

  4. I had to sit here and think about my bliss. I realized that I was really happy doctoring Gus. I love to help hurt animals. It's like my mission. It makes my heart happy. So I'll just wait until God sends another one my way.

    I think if I could do anything and had the means to, I would start an animal rescue. There's nothing like the love you get from an animal in need.

    You enjoy that horse of yours! And get that tank dug for fishin'!

  5. Smiling so big for you right now. I'm moving down the same path right now.

  6. I dont know how I missed this post of yours..Oh well anyhow here I am I found it. I am glad that your are finding your bliss again....I think I found mine when we moved out here 1.5 yr ago. I have land and animals..never was raised around any kind of farm animal, dont know where the likin came from actually. I actually have a friend that has chickens...and b4 we got out here I would go to her house and she would be textin me from inside tellin me to come in and visit HER awhile...Lol..I would so love to get a horse one day..never had one..but rode a many of em...mmmm I love the way they smell...hubby thinks I'm silly for that...but I cant help it..I do ; )
    Cant wait to see pics of your hubby's new fishin' hole....Its so nice to get a hankerin to wet a hook, and to know all you gotta do is step out your back door...; )
    Well, take care girl...I gotta get ready for a game!


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