Friday, December 18, 2009

P!ssed Off and Mad About It.........

I'm mad today. Very very mad today. Actually have been since yesterday. As some of you may know the evil TOM affects me in different ways. The last two months he really didn't bother me at all. That always sends up alarm bells in my head, cause I know that sooner or later it will be awful. Well sooner or later is here. I am so furious that I feel as if I'm full of bouncing balls and they are pinging around inside my skin trying to get out. Notice that I didn't say that I was angry. Anger is a nice quiet civilized emotion. No, what I am is mad, p!$$ed off. I want to hurt somebody. I want to punch with my fists, kick with my feet, and lash out with the sharp sword of my tongue. I can be so very very mean when I feel like this. I'm a very direct person (I know, news to you right) but my directness is usually filtered by my genuine compassion and empathy for people. Not so when I feel this way. I've ripped that compassion filter to shreds and am standing here snarling, just daring anybody to mess with me. The mental picture that I have of myself is of a Tigress, pacing, pacing, pacing, growling, growling, growling.

There is a silver lining to this disturbed little narrative though. Two silver linings actually. Ok, if you prefer, a platinum lining (this one I've know for as long as I can remember) and a silver lining that's quite new and very nice. The platinum lining is this..........God loves me even when I'm a psychotic b!t'ch. He knows me, and He loves me, and I can call on His strength and His love to calm me down. I try to visualize the white light of His love and I picture myself inhaling it every time I breathe in, and exhaling the blackness that is my rage. This actually helps me. The silver lining is this: even though I'd like to take the person who decided there needed to be a stoplight just before and just after the railroad tracks in Carlinville and bash their head against the sidewalk until their brains splatter out, I don't want to eat! Whoo hoo! I'm p!$$ed off and mad about it, but I have no desire to stuff that emotion with food and that's a victory in itself.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go whip somebody's @$$, punch an old lady in the face, steal a quarter from a kindergartener, and possibly kick a puppy. C-ya!

Till next time.......I'm seriouslyunbalancedandunTHICKINandcheckinintotheboobyhatchTHINNIN!

ps.....blogging is fabulous and I already feel calmer and more centered, so please put down the phone. You don't have to call the guys in the white suits!

1 comment:

  1. ROTFL! That is too funny! Hope you found someone to hit or push down at least!


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