Friday, July 30, 2010

Washing Dishes, and Other Necessary Evils.....

I confess, I wash my dishes by hand.  I have a dishwasher but I don't use it.  I actually hate the silly thing and would rather have the cabinet space!  It doesn't get the dishes clean and it doesn't put the dishes away, so what's the point? 

I do have a top secret device that makes it more enjoyable...........what's that?  You want to know what it is?  What's that?  No, no I don't make The Man or The Youngun do them.  It does however involve sticks of steel (or wood, or plastic) and cotton balls.  Or wait, is it bolls?  Are you ready? goes.

Yup, hand knit cotton dish rags.  The psyche is an amazing thing and when I'm washing dishes with one of these they just don't seem as bad! 

Would you like to have the pattern?  Well good, cause I'm gonna give it to you right now!  I'm not a very talented knitter so I know you can do these.  I'd love to be able to make socks and mittens and sweaters and such, but I just can't figure out how to do them so I make dish rags.....lots and lots of dish rags!  LOL! 

Oh yeah, were you wondering what the other necesary evils are that I referred to in the title?  Well, having the house on the market means one thing and one thing only.......CLEANLINESS!  My house is cleaner than it's ever been.  This isn't a bad thing mind you, I love having a nice clean house and it's so much easier when you keep up with it.  Putting your house up for sale is a GREAT motivator for keeping things spic and span! 

Anyway, here's the pattern for the dish rags.  I use Peaches and Cream cotton thread.  You can sometimes get good deals on it at Wal-Mart.  Happy Knitting!

Knit Dish Rags
These are worked with two colors, referred to as Color A and Color B.  When asked to slip stitches, do so purlwise.
Using a #9 needle (I sometimes use a #8) cast on 45 stitches with color A

Row 1 - (color A) Knit
Row 2 - (color A) Purl
Row 3 - (color B) K4, slip 1 *K5, slip 1* K4
Row 4- (color B) K4, YF, slip 1, YB *K5, YF slip 1, YB* K4
Row 5 - (color B) P4, YB, slip 1, YF * P5, YB, slip 1, YF* P4
Row 6 - (color B) K4, YF, slip 1, YB * K5, YF, slip 1, YB* K4
Row 7 - (color A) Knit
Row 8 - (color A) Purl
Row 9 - (color B) K1, slip 1 *K5, slip 1* K1
Row 10 - (color B) K1, YF, slip 1, YB *K5, YF, slip 1, YB* K1
Row 11 - (color B) P1, YB, slip 1, YF * P5, YB, slip 1, YF* P1
Row 12 - (color B) K1, YF, slip 1, YB * K5, YF, slip 1, YB* K1

Repeat to desired length, finishing with rows 1 and 2.  Bind off loosely and tuck in stray ends. 

I like to use the same colors, but switch the order (ie. color A becomes color B).  Have fun and I hope you try these.  If you have a favorite dish rag knit pattern please share it!  Til next time..........God Bless!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What's Behind the Blog Move....or My Dark Secrets

As some of you know I've redirected you here because I'm not going to write on my other blog anymore.  One reason is because we aren't homesteading any longer so I don't feel as if I should be blogging under that title but the main reason is a different one and it's the reason I pretty much quit blogging a couple months ago.

My sister (among lots of other young girls, in the family and otherwise) was molested by our maternal grandfather, who will from here on out be referred to as The Molester.  She didn't have clear memories of this until about 6 years ago and then all hell broke loose.  My sister and I are both in our 30's and she is older than me.  This abuse occured before child molestation was a widely known thing.  People just said that The Molester "liked little girls" or was a "dirty old man".  No one thought that he would take it as far as he did I guess.  I don't really know and don't want to get into that aspect of things.  Suffice it to say that he molested her and at least 8 others that we now know of and as soon as my sister began remembering, we cut off all contact with him.  My grandmother stuck by him through it all.  The saddest part is that she wasn't in denial, she knew it happened and acknowledged it happened, she simply said she loved him and wouldn't leave.  It has been hell on earth for my mom because she has lost her family.  Her sister and her brothers (the boys each have a daughter that was molested by him as well) have stuck by him, defended him and offered my mom no support whatsoever.  I have a male cousin that I grew up with and was very close to.  He is the son of my mom's brother and the brother of one of the molested girls, AND he has a daughter of his own to boot.  He has had a hard time with me severing my ties to the family.  I don't hate them, I've forgiven them and know that we all have our demons.  That being said I don't want to hang out with these people.  I don't think God expects me to.  I wish them all the best but I don't want to see them. 

Anyway, once again I'm taking the long way around the trailer park.......He contacted me recently because The Molester passed away.  I don't know if he thought I'd come running or what.  I simply said ok, thanks and I need to call my mom.  I wasn't sad, or broken up.  I don't mess around.  If I wanted to see these people I'd be seeing them, but I don't, therefore no regrets, ya know?  Anyway, he was pretty angry with me and told me that the Bible says to forgive.  I patiently tried to explain to him that I had forgiven, I had no animosity, but I didn't want to be involved with them.  He got mad and hung up. 

Flash forward a few months and he contacted me via facebook.  (I've since disabled that account)  He told me he'd found my website and asked me if I minded if he told "the family" about it.  I said no I didn't mind because I figured what can it hurt?  Immediately I stopped blogging.  Just didn't want to think about them sitting around the computer reading about what I and my family are doing.  Guess I did mind after all huh?  Anyway, then my mom got a letter in the mail from her mother's laywer.  This letter stated that since my mom didn't want anything to do with her "family" they wanted her to sign away her rights to her inheritance.  Did I mention there is a lot of money and land involved?  I firmly believe they have all stuck by The Molester during this mess because they knew they were going to get a financial windfall in the end.  My mom could care less about any money, but boy oh boy was that letter a blow to her.  So much more I could say about this whole situation, but I have to go to the dentist and I'm figuring you maybe didn't want to know all this about me anyway.  That branch of the family is screwed up but they think they are a Norman Rockwell painting and they want the whole world to think so too.  They all go to church, are church leaders and all act like they are the saintliest people on the planet.  FAKE!  The Molester was a total asshole even if you discount the molestation.  He cheated on my grandmother NUMEROUS times, lies, cheats, and steals.  He'd shake your hand while he's robbing you with the other one.  Anyway.........TMI to the extreme right? 

Just wanted to let you know a bit more about the blog move.  They don't know about this one and I'm much more comfortable blogging here without feeling like I'm being "watched"  ;)

To end this crazy tale, my mom's ok, my sister's better than ok, and that's all that matters to me. 

Till next time..........

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Falling Off the Wagon and Rolling Down the Hill..........Or What I did For Summer Vacation

Since March 3, 2010 I've been on a roller coaster ride of my own making. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't sometimes fun, alternating with scary, back to fun, and then to what the holy chopsticks am I doing? Things didn't get really bad until May 18, 2010 when I wrote in the notes section of my points tracker that I felt unsettled, like I was at a crossroads in my life and The Paintiff felt it too. That was my last weigh in until this morning. I've been a baaad baaad girl. As I stated in the title, I fell off the wagon. Let's be frank here folks, I jumped off the wagon of my own free will and with wildly gleeful abandon I did a graceful tuck and roll then slalomed down that hill with a wild rebel yell echoing round! I knew what I was doing and did it anyway.

For the past few days I've been feeling the urge to catch up to the wagon and pull myself back on. As I was tooling around last night on the lawnmower with my iPod singing to me about Carolina in my Mind, I was having yet another discussion with myself about what I wanted to do. Did I want to rejoin the WW'ers train, was I ready? Or was I having way too much fun riding with the James gang (haha, get it, I was just singing along with James Taylor), robbing pastry trucks and stuffing my face? Hmmm, I have been having fun. There I said it, I don't feel bad, I'm not beating myself up, I'm not mad at myself or anything. I suppose that indicates that I've got deeper problems than I think I do, but it did hit me, my moment of doesn't matter if I WANT to. It doesn't matter if this is more fun. I've got it to do. Like going to the dentist, or saints preserve us the gynecologist, I have to do this. Being overweight isn't good for me, just like ovarian cancer or rotted teeth aren't good for me, so I have to do this.

So I'm sure the question of the day is much damage did ya do Goodwife? How much weight did your wonderful spree of childish wanton-ness cost you? ya really, really wanna know? Really?? Ok, I'm up 27 lbs. Yup, I had lost 49 and now I've gained 27. But guess what? I'm still me. I'm still beautiful, funny and fabulous. My husband still loves me and can't wait to get me nekkid. My daughter loves me and my friends love me and most importantly I still love me. Ya wanna know why? Because this is part of who I am. Just like having hazel eyes, brown hair, a pointy chin, being a good listener and wicked funny in a mean way, struggling with weight is part of what makes me me. Therefore if I love me, I have to love all of me including my weaknesses.

I'm back. Is it for good? Who knows! I'd like to think that one day I'll beat this thing. Maybe this time I'll actually make it to goal. Wonder of wonders, maybe one day I'll make it to goal and manage to stay there for more than 5 minutes! I don't know what the future will bring. I only know this.........God loves me, I love me, and my family loves me, through thick or thin, bad or good, and when it's all said and done, I want it to say on my tombstone that I was a good wife, a great mother and a trusted friend. I don't think it will say what I weighed!

Till next time.......

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Lots of Changes a Goin' On!

Due to some schtuff goin' on in my little corner of the world, I'm going to stop blogging here. This schtuff is directly related to why I've pretty much stopped bloggin' here!  If you are interested in what I ramble about, please leave me a comment with your email address and I'll direct you to the new blog address.  I've enabled comment moderation so that I can get your email address without the whole world being able to see it.  If you could care less what I have to say, why that's ok too and I totally understand!  ;)

The Changes God Brings..........

Whew, it's been a long time. I've got so much to share and don't know if I'm up to sharing any of it. It's all been good stuff, well all but the WW's aspect of things.

Our prayer as a family is always to have open hearts ready to go where God leads us and the courage to follow through. For the past 6 months or so I've been out of sorts, wonky, alternately unhappy, weepy, angry and back again. I thought my PMS had just gotten totally out of hand or that I had a humdinger of a hormone imbalance.

Then one day about 2 months ago it hit me..........I didn't want this lifestyle anymore. I didn't care about my goats, my chickens, my livestock anymore. Didn't have the desire to own them, let alone care for them. I fought this, and I fought it hard. This is who I am, this is a major part of what makes me, ME..........right?? I talked to The Man about this and he in his infinite wisdom said, "Wait two weeks (to be sure it wasn't PMS induced) and then if you still feel that way lets sell 'em." I waited two weeks, then a month and the desire hadn't gone away. I just didn't care anymore and didn't want to do it.

In the meantime The Man has been stressed about work and himself feeling like he wants to chuck it all and move to Florida if only we could win the Lotto! This prompted us to begin seriously thinking about moving to Florida. His company has a division in Pensacola and he could probably get transferred. That prompted a discussion about leaving his current job (which he actually really loves) and our families and we decided what if we just downsized and stayed in this basic area? What if we sold our place, bought a nice little house in town that was a whole heck of a lot cheaper and only had our dogs to worry about? We could go to Florida three weeks a year and take weekend trips besides if we didn't have this place tying us down. That sounded like a dream come true, so guess what? I'm out of the homesteading business. I sold all my rabbits, all my chickens, most of my goats. All I have out there now is my old horse Champ and my two older doe goats. The girls will stay until we move and then they'll go to my dear goaty friend Rhonda. Can I tell you how great I feel? Can I tell you it feels as if a weight I didn't even know I was carrying has been lifted off me? I've done some heavy soul searching and I've discovered that I haven't wanted this for quite some time. I was keeping it up because I liked the reaction I'd get when folks found out how we lived. How sad is that? Pathetic really....

Anyway, The Man is thrilled as well because he never wanted this life. He did it out of love for me. I never had any idea how much he didn't want it, until I said I was done, such a good, loving man have I. He never complains EVER and he's never once said to me, no we don't need to do this, or I don't want to do this. He's bent over backwards to make me happy, and now it's my turn to make HIM happy and I'm so excited about that!

So where are we now? Well I've cleaned and tossed and organized and that feels wonderful as well. We've hauled three truck loads of schtuff to the auction (and made over 700 bucks to boot!) a great big load of scrap, and another load of trash. Every piece of carp I give away, sell, or throw away is another weight lifting off. We finished the kitchen (and it looks faboo!) and the realtor is coming tomorrow to put the ole' homestead on the market. We continue to pray for God's direction and guidance and know that He won't steer us wrong. Even if it isn't God's plan for us to sell this place right away, we feel better not having the expense and responsibility of 11 goats, 12 rabbits, and 40 chickens!

I've got some weight and food related stuff to blog about, but I'll save that for another day.

God Bless you all, and may you open your hearts to His direction and have the courage to follow where He leads you, it's sometimes scary, maybe even rough and rocky, but He'll always lead you through!

Till next time.......