My sister (among lots of other young girls, in the family and otherwise) was molested by our maternal grandfather, who will from here on out be referred to as The Molester. She didn't have clear memories of this until about 6 years ago and then all hell broke loose. My sister and I are both in our 30's and she is older than me. This abuse occured before child molestation was a widely known thing. People just said that The Molester "liked little girls" or was a "dirty old man". No one thought that he would take it as far as he did I guess. I don't really know and don't want to get into that aspect of things. Suffice it to say that he molested her and at least 8 others that we now know of and as soon as my sister began remembering, we cut off all contact with him. My grandmother stuck by him through it all. The saddest part is that she wasn't in denial, she knew it happened and acknowledged it happened, she simply said she loved him and wouldn't leave. It has been hell on earth for my mom because she has lost her family. Her sister and her brothers (the boys each have a daughter that was molested by him as well) have stuck by him, defended him and offered my mom no support whatsoever. I have a male cousin that I grew up with and was very close to. He is the son of my mom's brother and the brother of one of the molested girls, AND he has a daughter of his own to boot. He has had a hard time with me severing my ties to the family. I don't hate them, I've forgiven them and know that we all have our demons. That being said I don't want to hang out with these people. I don't think God expects me to. I wish them all the best but I don't want to see them.
Anyway, once again I'm taking the long way around the trailer park.......He contacted me recently because The Molester passed away. I don't know if he thought I'd come running or what. I simply said ok, thanks and I need to call my mom. I wasn't sad, or broken up. I don't mess around. If I wanted to see these people I'd be seeing them, but I don't, therefore no regrets, ya know? Anyway, he was pretty angry with me and told me that the Bible says to forgive. I patiently tried to explain to him that I had forgiven, I had no animosity, but I didn't want to be involved with them. He got mad and hung up.
Flash forward a few months and he contacted me via facebook. (I've since disabled that account) He told me he'd found my website and asked me if I minded if he told "the family" about it. I said no I didn't mind because I figured what can it hurt? Immediately I stopped blogging. Just didn't want to think about them sitting around the computer reading about what I and my family are doing. Guess I did mind after all huh? Anyway, then my mom got a letter in the mail from her mother's laywer. This letter stated that since my mom didn't want anything to do with her "family" they wanted her to sign away her rights to her inheritance. Did I mention there is a lot of money and land involved? I firmly believe they have all stuck by The Molester during this mess because they knew they were going to get a financial windfall in the end. My mom could care less about any money, but boy oh boy was that letter a blow to her. So much more I could say about this whole situation, but I have to go to the dentist and I'm figuring you maybe didn't want to know all this about me anyway. That branch of the family is screwed up but they think they are a Norman Rockwell painting and they want the whole world to think so too. They all go to church, are church leaders and all act like they are the saintliest people on the planet. FAKE! The Molester was a total asshole even if you discount the molestation. He cheated on my grandmother NUMEROUS times, lies, cheats, and steals. He'd shake your hand while he's robbing you with the other one. Anyway.........TMI to the extreme right?
Just wanted to let you know a bit more about the blog move. They don't know about this one and I'm much more comfortable blogging here without feeling like I'm being "watched" ;)
To end this crazy tale, my mom's ok, my sister's better than ok, and that's all that matters to me.
Till next time..........