Deep Thoughts......A Crisis of Religion, but Not of Faith.........

If you are a long time reader of my blog, you may remember that for most of our marriage we weren't regular church attendees.  God has always been our constant, and the driving force in our lives, but we didn't attend organized religious services.

There are a whole lot of reasons why we didn't attend regularly, and I won't get into those here, but we never lacked for a close relationship with God, which to my mind is what matters more than anything.

Shortly after we moved down here to KY, The Man's sister lost her husband after a long illness, and his funeral was preached by a hell fire and brimstone preacher who inspired us to begin attending church.  It was wonderful!  Uplifting and inspiring and most Sundays a wonderful jolt to the spirit.

We attended every Sunday until we moved to Montana, and then as soon as we came back we went right back.  I think we only missed two Sundays in over 2 years.....

The last few months however, we began to notice some things that made us increasingly uncomfortable.  Certain things that weren't exactly Biblically correct.  Things that just began to bother us more and more.  Also, after that amount of time attending every Sunday, we began to notice that the sermon was pretty much exactly the same every Sunday.  The same message, and sometimes not a Biblically correct message.  This really began to wear on us.  

We prayed and prayed and we continued to attend, but things just kept getting worse and worse and we felt it was time to leave.

That was about 2 months ago I suppose, and we've tried a couple of different churches since.  We've also missed a few Sundays, not attending anywhere.  We are still praying for God's direction.  We have not found a church home.  We still talk in depth about God as a family every day.  God isn't just on Sunday morning to us.  God is every day, every moment, every second.  His love and His presence permeates every aspect of our lives as it always has.

Church is important, but it absolutely doesn't substitute for that close personal relationship with God.  You can't have a true relationship with Him if you are eating with a spoon everything the preacher is saying on Sunday morning and never learning to feed yourself.  If you don't study the Bible and have deep conversations with others outside of the church, you won't know, or notice if and when your preacher strays from the Word.

I'm so thankful to live in a country where you can own a Bible and can read and study God's word at any time you want.  I have a Bible in the car, at my desk at work, on the bench beside where I sit at the table, and in the bathroom.  God's word is never far away from me and I can read it any time I want.  I can also pray and talk to God at any time.  This is the beautiful thing about a relationship with God.  He is never out of reach!

So we are in search of a church.  And we sort of feel as if we are in a bit of a crisis of religion.

A crisis of religion, but not a crisis of Faith!

Till next time.....

God Bless,

Patching Jeans.........Or Why Blogging is Good Therapy.....

So today after baking my bread and rolls for the next two weeks....

I'm patching jeans......

I don't like patching jeans.  I don't mind patching the butt, and the crotch isn't too bad, but I can't stand patching the legs/knees.  See, The Man, while being a heavily muscled man up top, has itty bitty bird legs.  He's about 5'5" on a good day and weighs 190 lbs, almost all of which is packed in his shoulders, arms, and neck.  He's got the skinniest legs I've ever seen....chicken legs really.  He can wear skinny jeans and they don't even look skinny on him, just normal!  

So anyway, he wears Carhartt jeans, which used to be good jeans.  But just like everything else, they are no longer a USA made product and they pretty much stink now.  I have to patch the back pockets, crotch, butt and knees all the time.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, grumbling, sighing and pretty much just pitching a baby fit because I don't like patching jeans, and feeling immensely guilty about it because it's Easter and Jesus didn't pitch a fit about DYING ON A CROSS for me, and here I am crying about not wanting to patch jeans......

Then I thought, hey I should do a blog post about patching jeans.....so here we are..

The first thing you do is cut a patch.  I use the lower legs of jeans that are beyond hope...and the rest of the pant goes to my Mama for making her embroidered denim quilts...

After you've cut the right sized patch, and you always cut big because you want to really stitch pretty far out around the hole.  Nothing worse than fooling with the silly thing to only find out you didn't go "deep" enough and didn't get the entire hole patched....

And then you just sew in zig zag, back and forth and sideways, all over the patch until you've got it all covered, being careful not to sew the pants to themselves, which is very easy to do, especially in the case of patching knees, and which will have you cussing, which will in turn make you feel guilty again......until it looks like this.  

Is it pretty??  Nope, but it doesn't have to be.  Does it do a good job of keeping The Man's doodle covered?  You betcha!

Now at this point, I ran out of bobbin and switched to blue, so the patch on my jeans will look far better than the patch on The Man's.....

As you can see, when I rip mine, I do a good job......

I get my jeans at Goodwill for 3 bucks.  You may be asking yourself, why in the WORLD do you patch them then?  Simple answer is because I like this pair and there is nothing wrong with the rest of the jean, just this huge rip in the butt.  My goats could care less if they are patched, so they are great jeans for around here and fishing and such.....

And besides, patching a large butt rip like this one isn't hard at all.....

After you've gotten the patch all sewed down, you cut the excess patch away.... 

And there you have it!  Good as the Goodwife needs them to be!

So I'll leave you with this....

I'm so very thankful for a Savior who was willing to go to the cross, willing to die for me and you, even when we are ugly and hateful and petulant and whiny about patching jeans.

                                 "And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power."  

 1 Corinthians 6:14

Till next time!

God Bless,

Learning to Submit.........

Does anybody remember this post?  One of the reasons I enjoy/enjoyed blogging so much was reading back over my posts to see how God talks to me.  You'd think I'd know to "never say never" and to NEVER try to guess what God's future plans for me are.  Maybe someday I'll learn, although I have to say I'm getting closer every day!  :)

So anywho....it's this part of the post that is funny...

"I have no intention of ever entering the "real" work force again"

After we moved back to KY from Montana, we went back to the trailer next door to his sister like I said.   The Man and I still desperately wanted to work together in some capacity.  We tried several things that just didn't work out.  We tried "property preservation".....lets just say that didn't work out at all.  We cut wood, but that wasn't enough to make ends meet,  so we prayed and we talked and we prayed some more.  I applied at the school as a cook (because that's what I did in IL for a little bit) and I didn't hear anything. 

Pretty much this entire time I knew what God wanted me to do.  I could feel it, and He was saying it and I wasn't listening (STILL) because it wasn't what I wanted to do.  (See how that works there, I)  Finally in desperation because we were SERIOUSLY out of money, I did it.  What was it you ask?  It was to go apply at the Mickey D's in town.  I thought there is no way that I'll be able to work days, no way I'll get weekends off, no way I'll like it.  Off to town we went with a sour face and a bad attitude.  A toddler attitude of FINE if this is what you want FINE!  I walked up to the counter and asked for an application.  The girl said she'd get a manager.  The manager (Colby) came up and asked if he could help me.  I told him I was interested in a application.  He told me to go home, apply online and put his name down as the referring party.  I did so, and within a couple hours he called me for an interview for the next day.  I went to the interview, he asked me if I had transportation, what shift I wanted (days), he asked me if 3 am was too early to start and I said nope the earlier the better.  He asked me if I could go to orientation that day (it started in 2 hours) and could I start tomorrow at 3 am?

Do ya see a pattern here?  When it's what HE wants, it tends to happen very quickly for me.......

So I started working at McRonalds........I had a love / hate relationship with it.  I used to come home crying and telling The Man I couldn't do it, I just needed him to tell me I could quit.  I wasn't going to quit, but I needed him to tell me I could, (even though after a few weeks of working there I informed them that I wasn't working weekends anymore.  They could have me Mon-Fri or not at all, and they said ok, no more weekends for you).

I worked in the kitchen and there was a specific co-worker that just rubbed me the total wrong way.  I had good days, but I had lots of bad days.  I was good at it, very fast, accurate, and my days flew by, but I was so tired when I got home that I slept the whole afternoon away!  I was like a spoiled little brat, still telling God, I don't WANT to work here.  But then something happened.  I started taking my Bible to work and leaving it in the truck.  On my break, I would go out and read my Bible.  On the 10 minute drive to work in the inky black with the huge starry sky my only company, I'd talk to God.  I began to pray for that co-worker that I didn't like.  The change was pretty immediate.  I began to love my job!!  I had so many opportunities to witness.  So many opportunities to share God's love with people who maybe didn't know.  God led me to so many wonderful scriptures that have taught me so much.  He helped me to see (once again) that it isn't about me.  It really isn't.  AT ALL.  Life is not about us.  It's about what He wants for us.  It's about total submission to His will in our lives.  It's about recognizing and accepting that what God wants for us, and what we want are most often wildly different and learning to be really ok with it.....

I was pretty lost and confused, trying to figure out who I was without all my animals.  Without Champ, without my goat girls.  I was sort of like a ship without a sail.  I'd sort of lost my way.  It's hard to explain, but God had a whole lot to teach me, a whole big lot that I needed to learn.  I feel like He had to strip even more stuff away so that I had no distractions, so that I could really listen to what He had to teach me. 

During all this, The Man had his own things going on with our Maker.  He was looking for a job and not just any job, but the job that God wanted him to have.  He had several opportunities, but the one that he felt God leading him to take was at a small, family run cabinet warehouse.  We saw the job in the newspaper.  He went in and spoke to them one morning, and he had an interview with another company later that afternoon.  After getting out of the interview with the second company, the first place called and offered him a job.  He took it and quickly became the receiving manager.  It's the first Mon-Fri, 8-5 job he's ever had. 

After being at MD's for a little over a year, (and learning to joyfully submit to God's purpose in being there)  (and after actually getting hired at the school as a cook, and staying at McD's for 4 am to 7 am, then going to work at the school from 7:30 am to 2:30 pm and deciding I didn't like it at all and after summer break, deciding not to go back to the school but to stay at MC's full time...)  the inventory position opened up at The Man's warehouse and I went in and talked to them. I was offered the job at $2 an hour more than I was making in my current job, plus I would have health insurance.  See when insurance was offered to The Man, it was going to be too expensive to put me on the plan.  We prayed about it, and then just put The Man and The Youngun on it, having Faith that God would provide insurance for me in His good time.  And He did............in His good time!

We went to Montana because we wanted to work together.  God led us out there and it was a wonderful experience, but it didn't work out for us to work together out there.  God led us there as one more learning experience. I'm so thankful that in His good time, he's allowed us to work together.  We get up together, get ready for work together, ride to work together, work together, have lunch together, and ride home together.  It is a wonderful blessing.  I'm sure not every couple would feel that way, but we truly love being together and we work very well together. 

The job hasn't all been sunshine and roses.  We've had moments of frustration.  Not with each other, just with the job.  Of course those come with every job.  We went through a spell a few months ago where we really thought God wanted us to go elsewhere.  There was a whole lot of prayer, and a whole lot of job searching, and a whole lot of job applications.  We kept praying for God to show us what He wanted us to do.  Well guess what??  We finally figured out that we are RIGHT where God wants us to be.  There's much more for us to learn right where we are!! 

Till next time.....I remain yours in Christ.....

Because Jesus Came.....

the Goodwife and her Daddy

My Dad has pancreatic cancer.  He had surgery to remove the cancer on December 23rd, and he came home from the hospital on the 30th.

It was/is a scary diagnosis, but you know what?  

Because Jesus came, we don't have to worry.

Because that little tiny baby was born, we don't have to fear.

Because of that little baby, that grew into a man, and was hung on a cross, we don't have to be afraid.

Because of our God who loved us so much, He was willing to send that baby to grow into a man to take the punishment for us. 

Dad is saved.  He is a child of God.  We've talked at great length about it, and I'm so thankful that God has given us a relationship that allows that. 

We've prayed for God's will to be done.  We've prayed for strength to handle what comes.  God is good!  God is Almighty.  God gives life, and it's His to take it away.  To me it doesn't make sense to question God's plan.  He is GOD.  I'm just thankful it was His plan for my Dad to be born, and more importantly I'm so thankful Dad is born again.  

They were able to remove the cancerous tumor, part of his pancreas, and his spleen.  They also removed and biopsied the lymph nodes in the pancreas which came back clean. That is wonderful news, but pancreatic cancer is a very aggressive cancer.   

 But guess what?   Dad is a winner either way.  He belongs to God, not to us.  We must simply be thankful for every second we've got, and trust in the Wisdom of our Father.

 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.  
Isaiah Ch 12

Learning to Live on God's Time.......

Our lives since The Man lost his job in IL have been on a serious journey towards total submission to our Lord and Savior.

In the journey towards that total submission, God stripped our lives down to the minimum.  We lost our house, we lost our car, we moved to KY, we moved to MT, we moved back to KY.  The Man lost his hot rod, I lost my horse, my goats, my "homestead" lifestyle.  But it had to be.  God has to strip you down, to get you to understand TOTAL submission.  When He says He wants total submission, He means it.  Not that God doesn't take our will into account, He loves us, but just like we as parents most often know what is best for our children, God ALWAYS knows what is best for us.  We usually don't have a clue....

That said, however, I believe that when you submit to God's will and you start figuring out that your life is NOT about you, but it's all about serving Him, there are certain things He will give back to you, IN HIS TIME and according to His will.

So when God allowed us to buy this place, I of course wanted goats again.  Did I consult God on this matter?  Well.... I thought I did, but looking back there were a lot of clues that I shouldn't be going about it at that time.

I looked and looked, and obsessed and looked for goats on Craigslist.  I found an ad for some Saanens in milk and a Lamancha from a guy a couple towns over.  We went to look at them in the pouring rain (clue # 1) with no shelter built (clue # 2).  When we got there it was obvious that he'd bought a HUGE lot of goats at the sale barn, and had only had them a couple days.  (clue # 3).  Of course because I was in what I want obsessed mode, I picked out two pretty Saanen does, milked each of them quickly to sample the milk, and then took them home.

The Man threw together a hoop shelter for them out of panels and a tarp (in the rain) and we got them settled in.
We named them Norma Jean and Ruby Sue.

Norma Jean

Ruby Sue

After a couple hours I could tell that Norma had problems.....I didn't have her blood tested, but I know she was CAE postive.  Her knees were HUGE and she was so arthritic she could barely get around.  Why didn't I notice this before I bought her??  Because I was in obsessed mode of course.  Also, although they milked beautifully it was only out of one side.  They both had a spoiled half due to mastitis.  Are we seeing a pattern here?

So then, because I was in obsessed I want it now mode, I kept looking on CL.  I had it in my head that I wanted a Lamancha.  I found one about an hour and a half away.  Went and looked at her and liked her, although she was a Mini Mancha not a full size.  She had a doeling on her and although she had small teats, she milked out easy and quickly.  So I bought her.  And her daughter...which was a really silly move since I had NO way to lock her away and therefore couldn't really milk.......
We named those two Michael and Illsa.

No pictures of Michael and Illsa due to computer crash...

In the meantime, even after getting Norma Jean's feet all trimmed and fixed up, her mobility wasn't improving, and then......Ruby Sue developed a lump, a CL lump.  So those girls quickly left.  There was no way I wanted that lump to burst at my place and risk Michael and Illsa.

Then once again because I was in the mode of "me wants what me wants when me wants it", I still wasn't done!  I KEPT looking and found a lady down in TN with a registered Lamancha doeling.  I still had all my tack from Champ and was feeling like it was time to part with it.  I had it for sale on CL and wasn't getting any offers.  I saw on the website that the gal with the Lamancha doeling had horses, so I thought I'll just email and see if she'd consider a trade.  All my tack for that doeling.  She said yes, so off to TN we went.  We traded for the Lamancha and also came home with a bred Mini Mancha......
These girls we named Jodie and Lexi

Again with the computer crash on these two.....


Lexi kidded with a lovely little blue eyed doeling that we named Deliliah.

Delilah

So there I was with 5 does and no buck to breed them to.  I was trying to milk out under the trees, in all kinds of weather, and not getting much milk because I had no way to lock Illsa or Delilah off of their Momma's.  This all started last year in March ('14) and it was now October 2014 and I was done.  I didn't feel good about any of it, because I was trying to do it on my time, instead of God's time.

Then I got a Mon-Fri 8-5 job and that was that.  I told The Man I was selling the goats.  I put them on CL and sold them in a matter of days.  Now that is because I was back in line with God's plan.  We began trying to REALLY practice total submission to God's will.  It's the hardest easiest thing in the world to do......it takes practice and it takes Faith and I still screw up all the time, but it's a super awesome way!

So, that brought us to around August on 2014.  After our pigs went to the freezer, The Man and I stared talking about how we hate to buy "store" food.  I hadn't drank milk in over a year (but that story will be another post, since this one is reaching novel proportions) and I casually mentioned that if we still had goats I'd take milk to drink with my sandwich at lunch time at work.  That prompted a discussion about him wanting to build me a milking shed, which led to another CL search for goats, this time with LOTS of prayer about God leading us in the right direction.  After several weeks of looking and saving for and getting the building built, we were on the way home from work and I mentioned to The Man that I'd sure love to have Tulip and/or Star back, but I really didn't think Jen would want to sell them.  The Man said well email and ask.....so after praying about it, I did!  And after a long weekend of waiting to hear back from her,,,,,,,,,,,SHE SAID YES!

We know this was God's plan for so many reasons, we got discounted lumber for the milk shed, Jennifer said yes, and lots more I could mention, but the point is it all went SMOOTHLY, which in our case usually means we are in line with His will.......

So my girls are home.  Both of them, and I'm so happy I can't even tell you.  Tulip will be 9 in June and Star will be 7 in March.  They were in heat the day I picked them up from Jen and so we put them in with Silo, her Nubian buck.  If they are both bred, this will be Tulip's last kidding.  I'm really not thinking she is bred, but time will tell.  She was just barely in heat the day we bred her, and she only stood for him once and then she was done.  She came in really strong about 2 days after I got her home, so I'm not sure she settled.  If she isn't bred, then that's fine.  I'm not going to be greedy.  She's a good old girl and I don't want to risk her life just because I want one more kidding out of her!

Me and my old girl Tulip

Pretty girl Star

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.  Mark 8:35

Not Self Sufficient......God Reliant!

So before, in IL we always wanted to be self sufficient and self reliant.  We loved our Jesus, and we thought we were serving Him.  As a matter of fact, had someone tried to tell me that we weren't doing all we could for the Lord, I would have given them an ear-full! 

However, that said, and if anyone remembers God had been telling us for over 2 years that He wanted us to do something else and we weren't listening.  We said, nope, he's been at this job for 9 years!  The health insurance!  The vacation time!  The 401K!!!  Our house, our garden, our fruit trees, our barns!!

Well fast forward to the months after The Man lost his job and we really started to figure out what it means to trust in the Lord.  See before, we wanted to trust God and we thought we did, and we probably did, just not enough.  The job was our security, the health insurance and the home.  That isn't where true security comes from!!  True, peaceful security comes from our Heavenly Father and NOWHERE else.

God led us to Montana, which was a fantastic adventure, and then He led us back to KY.  After being back in KY for a year and living next door to The Man's sister, we were praying hard for a place to call our own.  The bankruptcy made it impossible to get a mortgage and it looked as if we were a long way out from our own place.  We prayed and looked, and looked and prayed, and none of the houses we looked at would work out.  We went to the bank, they told us to get a credit card to rebuild our credit.......ah, no thanks!  There was a little house trailer for sale about 2 miles over from where we were living.  It was on the highway and looked pretty run down.  We must have driven past it dozens of times and saw the for sale by owner sign.  We would say, no, we don't want it, it's on the highway, it's too small, too old, too shabby, whatever.  One Sunday before church, I was looking on C/L for places for sale by owner.  That little place was on there with some pictures of the inside.  I thought, hmm, I could make this work!  We decided to email about the ad and lay it all out on the line.  I sent an email asking if they would consider owner financing with a generous down payment.  Off we went to church........and when we got home there was an email from the owner.  He said he would do an owner finance and would we like to look at the property that afternoon?  We met him over there on Sunday afternoon and to our surprise the little house trailer came with 3.2 acres of land!  We stood in the driveway and talked to the owner for over an hour, mostly about God!  He shook our hands, told us he'd never done an owner finance before, but said he felt that it was what he was supposed to do!  We closed on the house, signed papers at his attorney's and took possession that Thursday, 4 days after first looking at the place.

It is amazing how things fall RIGHT INTO PLACE when you are truly where God wants you to be....... 

Until next time........I remain yours in Christ,

Remember Me??

It's been a long time hasn't it?  I've missed blogging, but for some reason it's been really emotional to begin again.  But now, I feel God pulling me to start again, so here we go!

Life is about the journey and our sole purpose in being born and going about of our lives is to bring Glory to our Savior.  In my life, sometimes I've done that, but most of the time I've fallen far short of the mark.  I can't count the times I'm sure I've disappointed my Jesus, but He's never left me, and never forsaken me and I have no words to describe His Faithfulness.  We are so undeserving, and He is so generous!

Things are going swimmingly for us!  The Youngun is now a Sophmore in High School.  Being back in public school has not all been sunshine and roses, but with God's guidance we've managed to raise a daughter with values and morals, who knows the importance of communication.  We are able as a family to work through the situations that arise and I'm thankful for that.  She had her first boyfriend that lasted about 5 months, and even though they hugged, they didn't kiss because she wasn't ready for that.  She ended the relationship for some very mature reasons that I'm so thankful for as a Momma!  The Boy had some "issues" that scared me as a parent, and we talked about them freely and in a non-judgmental way, and she came to the conclusion to end it on her own.  I was actually quite surprised (but very happy) when she told me. 

God has allowed us to buy our own place and I'll blog about that in future, he's given us a job where we are working together, truly working together, and other than our house (which will be paid for in 6 years God willing) and our car, we are debt free!

I've missed blogging, and have thought to take it up again several times.  For some reason it makes me feel very vulnerable!  However, that being said, reading back over my blog makes me smile, brings things to mind that I've forgotten, and gives me a pretty accurate online diary of what we've been up to.  Writing it down in a notebook just doesn't feel, or work the same!

So.....I'm possibly beginning the blog foray again.  I've got lots to share and lots to say and lots of wonderful ways in which our Heavenly Father has blessed us that I want to tell the world about!

Until next time, I remain yours in Christ,

Answers to Asked and Unasked Questions...........

Ok, ok, so some of the questions were asked, and some of you couldn't care less......since when has that ever stopped me?  Baaahahahhaaaa!

1. Is The Youngun still being homeschooled??
2. Where is Champ??
3. Where does Willow (the cat) now live??
4. Are you insane??
5. Do you ever get sad, down, depressed.....ever??

K.........thats enough questions for now. If you have any others though, please do feel free to leave them in the comments section!

Answer to question new-mare-o eww-no.......

• No.  We were feeling nudges to put her back into the public school system while we were in Kentucky.  I wasn't crazy about that idea as I wasn't fond of the Bowling Green school system (waaaaay to big for this goodwife) but we did want to mind the Lord and we had been talking about it as a family and praying about it.  When this Montana gig came up I began googling the school up here.  I was pleased, and even more so after meeting with the principle and staff.  The Youngun was excited though nervous.  She attended Thursday and Friday of the first week and then Mon.-Wed of the next week before being off for Christmas break.  The school is tiny and there are 7 kids in her math class.  Lots of one on one attention and yes they do still call it Christmas break here.  A wonderful and refreshing change from IL schools.  She goes to school 26 miles away from our house and Mouse or I drive the girls 14 miles one way to meet the school bus, where the bus then takes them the remaining 12 miles to school.  Same drill in the afternoon.  Did I mention The Youngun loves it, and she re-entered public school seamlessly??  God is good!  I also strongly feel that it was His plan for us to pull her from school in IL when we did because of all the turmoil we were headed for.  Moving from IL, to KY, to MT in the space of 6 months would've been a bit traumatic if she'd been attending school in IL and in KY!

Moving on past question twa for now, (and that means two in goodwife speak).  The answer to question three lies in the following picture........

My days now consist of........ feed the dogs, let the dogs out, let the dogs back in, feed the cat, dogs eat the cat food, feed the cat again, cat poops, dogs eat the cat poop, repeat until bed time..............

Question 4.......ah dear sweet question 4.......

• Probably............but not for the reasons you think.  We have faith..........if that makes us insane then we're proud to be nutty!  Life only scares us when we think we are in charge.  When we know we are letting God make the decisions it's all just a really fun and exciting journey!

Question 5.........the meat of it all............

• YES! Although it isn't very often sometimes I'm get so sad I don't think I can go on.  Usually it's related to my monthly cycle (see above question cuz I for sure am then) (sorry if TMI) and I can usually power through it but sometimes it's the hardest thing I have to do.  A few days after we moved to this beautiful place I was PMSing and feeling terribly sorry for myself.  The Man was having the time of his life learning the ranching trade and I was feeling as useless at tits on a boar.  For the first time in 13 years I have no critters that depend on me and I was feeling low, low, low.  Then I was laying in bed and I had one of those smack upside the head moments that God often graces me with.  I remembered........I am here because God wants me here.  God has a plan and a purpose for me and if right now all that purpose is is to keep my house nice, feed my family and my dogs, and scoop that dang cat box, (see the above question about where Willow now lives), well that's ok.  That is what God wants me to be doing.  Then I felt better!  And you know what?  About 2 days after that, Mouse started calling on me and having me help her with cow stuff.  And God said...... SEEEEEE, you must give Me time to work.  And I said..........sorry Big Guy, I failed you again!  And I was once again so thankful that even though I fail Him constantly, He never ever fails me!

And now........to answer question twa..........my heart constricts on question twa........

• Champ is gone.  He couldn't come to Montana with us.  Champ was 24 years old.  He was an old man in horse years, and I couldn't bring him 1600 miles north in December.  The climate and altitude would've been too much for him.  On a totally practical note, we aren't exactly rolling in cash and transporting him would have been a financial outlay we simply couldn't afford.  As I've stated many many times, selling him was not an option.  He left this world relaxed and happy and that's all I'd really like to say about a very painful subject.  ♥
  He gave me 11 years of wonderful horsey love and I'll never have another like him, if I ever even get another horse.  I'm a lifer and a horse can be a 20+ year commitment for a person like me.  I'm also not too sure that God has ever had horses in the plan for me.  I think He's allowed me to have them because I've wanted them, but I'm not sure it's ever been what He's wanted for me, though we do talk about that often as my heart yearns to ride over this 30,000 acres on a faithful steed.  God will let me know in His time what the plan is regarding that!

So that's those questions answered.  There was another question posted by anonymous on my last post, about bear eating cows..........no wait........maybe it was about cow eating bears??  Anyway, I'll answer that question next time..........

oh yeah.....ps.........is this font hard for you to read???



Till then...............God Bless..........

So What Exactly Are We Doing???

Ranching of course! 

God has led us to a 30,000 acre family ranch smack dab in the middle of Montana, about 2 hours northwest of Billings and about 2 hours northeast of Bozeman.  Hank Jr sang a song about the little town we are near, though we are 14 miles away from it even.

It's always been a dream of mine and The Man's, to live in the mountains in the middle of nowhere.  We thought we'd have to wait until he retired to make this dream come true because you can't exactly commute from where we are, but God in His infinite wisdom led us here, where we get to live on 30,000 acres of deeded loveliness for free, and get paid for it even!

So now you know.............the rest of the story.........but it's only beginning isn't it? 

Till next time...........God Bless.........

Sunday, January First, Two Thousand and Twelve..........

Good morning dear readers and blog friends!  I've been waiting on this post for a couple weeks now.  How fitting that it should begin assembling itself in my mind on the first day of a new year! 

If you are new to this blog and would like to catch up on what's been happening please click here...... that will take you to a lot of blog posts and you can catch up on what's been going on!

If you are a faithful friend then I'm sure you are sayin'.....yadda, yadda, blahhh, get on with it sister!!  So I will!

When last I reported to you the goings on in our lives The Man was working at a factory in Bowling Green, KY and God had led me to sell my goats.  We were beginning to feel nudges about putting The Youngun back in school, and although I wasn't really feelin' that in B.G., we wanted to mind The Lord. 

Now I'm usually not a good one for remembering dates, but these are cemented in my mind.  On Tuesday, November 15, 2011 The Man came home from his second shift at the factory miserable.  Well he'd been coming home miserable for about a week now, but especially miserable on that day.  He really didn't like working at the factory.  He didn't mind the actual work, but the work ethic and the mindset of the folks he was working with were really getting to him.  He also wasn't enjoying being cooped up in that building for 10-12 hours a day.  As always, we'd been praying without ceasing for God to show us the way.  For Him to show us what He'd have us to do. 

I began telling The Man about this lovely lady and her family.  Mountain Mama and her family strive to live for God and to have the courage and faith to go wherever He leads them.  At one point, He led them to manage a lodge in the mountains.  As I was telling The Man about this, he didn't really say too much and I just let it go, praying all the while for His direction. 

The next morning when we got up he asked me if I thought I could find us a job like that.  I said I don't know but I can try!  We all three marched back to the computer and I stared googling jobs for couples.  It took me to a site called working couples dot com and I started searching the jobs there.  There were several jobs on there, jobs in Florida, Georgia, and Texas.  I asked The Man if any of those sounded interesting to him and he said the one in Montana sounded pretty good.  There was a name, and address, and a phone number, or you could apply online through the site.  I told him to call the number.........he took a deep breath........I said, do you feel like God is telling you to do it but you are scared to death??  He said.......Oh yeah!!  I said, then call!  So he did......

The job said no experience necessary and while The Man had a little bit of experience doing this type of work, he didn't have a great deal, but he had faith and he called.  After speaking to the lady, she told him to send her 5 references and a resume.  She wanted 3 references of people he'd worked with in the past, and 2 of people he was currently working with at the factory.  He went to work that afternoon, Wednesday November 16, 2011 and asked two fellas if he could use them as a reference.  They said yes so when he got home from working second shift, at around midnight we sent the resume and the references.  By the time he got to work the afternoon of Thursday the 17th, she'd called both of those references, as well as two of the others.  She couldn't get ahold of the last one because he was up a tree.  It was deer season in IL ya know.....

K.........hate to do this to you, but I got to take a break.  I will leave you with another picture though, and promise to continue this story next week!

Till next time...........God Bless........

Just kiddin!  Would I do that to you??  Baahhahahaa!

Ok, so anyway, she couldn't get ahold of Brandon and she was determined to talk to all of his references.  We didn't hear anything from her and The Man continued to go to work at the factory.  We continued to pray for His guidance and He was really telling us this was going to happen.  We went to IL for Thanksgiving, leaving on Thanksgiving day and coming home Saturday the 26th.  While we were in IL, we visited with my family, telling them we'd applied for a job in Montana, and doing the same with his family.  My family was very supportive as they always are.  His family didn't believe us.........

We got back home to KY on Saturday and got up Sunday morning the 27th to go to church.  We loved our little church in Barren County KY and really hated to leave it!  During a church service a few weeks prior our preacher opened up the church doors for membership, but we didn't go forward.  A couple Sunday's after that we told the congregation that we didn't come forward because we didn't know how long God was going to leave us here and we didn't want anything holding us back from going where He led us, including church membership......After church The Man called to follow up on the job.  The lady told him she'd filled the job, but the guy hadn't shown up yet and if he didn't get there quick she was going to call us. 

We knew were were destined for Montana, so we began craigslisting everything we didn't want to take with us on a 1600 mile move.........

On Monday November 28th she called The Man to tell him he was her pick but she wanted us to talk it over and be sure we wanted it as a family.  She also had to talk to her dad and her husband about us......meanwhile, while The Man was on the phone with the lady, Missy (Brandon of the deer stand)'s wife was frantically calling us to tell us she'd finally called and talked to Brandon!

Tuesday, November 29th The Man told the factory he was done.  What???  Without knowing for sure he had the job???  Yup.......FAITH.......

We began listing stuff on craigslist in earnest and going through stuff again.  I don't even know how much stuff we sold, but we unloaded lots more "stuff" that was weighing us down.  It all sold almost as soon as we listed it.  More of God telling us this was going to happen. 

I called my dear friend Jennifer of Our Little Farm (remember she bought Tulip and Star?) and asked her if she'd take my 6 laying hens.  She said she would, and we kept selling stuff, my trio of Muscovy ducks included.

We told my folks we were leaving for Montana on the 9th of December and they planned to come down and visit us the weekend of the 3rd and 4th.  Now mind you we still hadn't gotten the confirmation call that we'd gotten the job.  Going on faith here folks, which is a heady and glorious feeling!!

Saturday morning, the 3rd of December the lady (who I'll from here on out be referring to as Mouse) gave us the call and said, well if you think you want to do this, then come on!  We told her we had to take The Youngun to the orthodontist in IL on December 8, and then we'd be on the road the 9th. 

We went to our little church one last time and told them where God was leading us and with some tearful goodbyes we were that much closer to being ready.

 We took Ellie and Ginger in to get spayed on the 7th, made a trip to IL to the orthodontist on the 8th, and spent all day on the 9th getting packed up and loaded, with help from The Man's family in KY. 

We intended to get on the road by noon on the 9th of December, but that didn't happen.  The first uhaul we got was too small, and of course we didn't realize that until we had it loaded!  Back to Bowling Green and a bigger uhaul.  Brought it home, unloaded the first one into the second one, loaded more stuff into the second one, took the first one back to Bowling Green while The Man and The Uncle finished loading the second one......whew!  We didn't think we'd ever get on the road! 

With the three dogs, we had to pre book our hotels to make sure we were in a dog friendly one, so we had to go ahead and leave to stay on schedule.  We stopped in Columbia MO the first night but it was around 3 am before we got there!  Then on to Chamberlain SD the second night, then to Laurel MT the third night and on December 12 at around 11 AM mountain time, The Man, the goodwife, The Youngun, the three dogs and the cat arrived at our new home!

Now I really am going to make you wait to tell you what job The Man is doing, and tie up some more loose ends you may be wondering about but that's ok cuz suspense is the spice of life right???

Till next time..........God Bless............

Life in Kentucky, and A Few More Changes.........

If you've missed posts one, two, three, and four, you may want to read them first!

As we settled into our new lives in Kentucky, I was still fighting God on some things.  I'm not proud of this.  I think usually I'm pretty good at letting God have the reins, but on some things I have to take my time coming to terms with His plan.  One of those things was letting my goats go.  I held on and cried, and held on and cried and then I finally accepted that God didn't want me to have goats right now.  As you may remember from this installment of our story, my goats were over at The Aunt and Uncle's place.  Tommy had to be housed with Tulip, Star, and their six kids and that wasn't working out so well.  A buck will run does ragged because they are pretty much always ready to breed, even if the girls aren't, especially a Pygmy like Tommy.  The 3 buck kids were also running their sisters ragged and I was stressed to the breaking point. 

I put Tommy and 4 of the kids on craigslist and sold them quickly.  That alleviated some of my stress and I settled in to milking my girls.  The Aunt and Uncle's 100 acre farm is only about 4 miles from where we live, but I had to make that 4 mile drive in Black Betty.  It was costing me $20 a week to go over and do my chores.  As a few weeks went on, the grass and brush in the 1 acre paddock they were in was gone.  My girls were losing weight.  We are not in the financial position to be spending money on extras, and sadly that includes critters.  I had to make a choice between Champ and the goat girls.  I lay on the couch in The Man's lap crying my fool eyes out and then I accepted that God wanted me to sell my girls. 

I got on the computer and emailed my dear friend Jennifer from Our Little Farm.  She lives about 45 minutes from where we are now and she's been a saving grace to us on this journey.  I asked her if she knew anybody that would want to buy my girls, each with a doe kid at their side.  She said she didn't really know of anybody, but then she emailed me back and said she was talking with her husband about it and would get back with me.  In the meantime, I also sold off a bunch of my little pullets, leaving me with only 6 pullets and three ducks.  A really perfect and manageable number.  Jennifer got back with me and said she wanted to buy my girls!  Whew!  Such an answer to prayer.  They have a wonderful home with Jennifer and her family and she is milking them and loving them and that means everything to me. 

We still have our three dogs, our cat, the 6 laying hens, and our Muscovy drake and his ladies.  They free range during the day and are giving us enough eggs for us to eat.  No extras, but that's ok, we have enough for us and I can afford to feed them!  I of course still have Champ, and he is here at our house with me now.  He's right out my bedroom window and I love hearing him nicker for me in the mornings.
 

Notice that he's nappin in the sun right out my backdoor, see the doorknob?

Selling Champ is not, and has not ever been an option.  If the Lord leads us somewhere else and I can't take him, I'll put him down.  He will be 24 in the spring and I'll not take the chance of him being neglected somewhere else.  Of course, if God were to present me with a home for him, I would follow God's direction, but the thought of trusting his welfare to another person is oh so difficult for me, especially as I'm surrounded by horribly neglected and starving horses.

God has provided The Man with a job.  He makes in a month what he used to make in a week, but he is relatively stress free, and happy.  We have enough.  Having enough is huge, and God is good.  We aren't on any state aid, although we do qualify and if it gets to where we need it we will apply.  We don't have health insurance anymore, but our faith in our Heavenly Father is better than any insurance policy on earth.

Our bankruptcy is final and our credit score didn't take as big a hit as we had feared.  I think because it was so high to begin with.  However, we've both decided not to borrow money for anything.  If we can't pay cash, we'll do without.  We were able to sell The Dodge and we've got that money in savings, to be used for emergencies.  We wanted to live the self-sufficient lifestyle, but there is absolutely nothing self sufficient about being deeply in debt.  This is the first time in our marriage that we've been footloose and fancy free.  The first time we've ever rented, the first time we've been unfettered and it is a good feeling.  We are constantly praying and asking God to show us.  Show us what to do, show us where to go, show us how to be better servants to Him.  Our family is closer than ever and our marriage is still steady as a rock.  I know the reason for that......God is the head and the center of our lives. 

Will we stay here?  Who knows!  We certainly don't.  We are asking God to guide us where He would have us.  Use us, let us be shining lights for Him.  We are still homeschooling Shayla but are beginning to feel strongly that God wants us to put her back in school.  We've told her to pray deeply about it, as well as praying about it as a family.  We are His to do with as He will.  Our faith, while already strong, has grown by leaps and bounds.  I can't wait to see what He does with us next!

Thank you dear readers for your comments, thoughts, and prayers.  Please know you've all been on my mind and I've missed you dearly.  I'm back though because I love to witness through my blog and I love sharing with you all.  Reading about your triumphs and your trials is a great comfort and inspiration to me. 

We may no longer be Goodwife Farm, but I remain, as always, the Goodwife!

Until next time,

God Bless...........

Kentucky Bound, and Tragedy Strikes........

Installment one, two, and three.....

I'm going to take the time now to tell you a little about The Man's sister.  She is his older sister and his only full sibling.  She has two young adult children and at the time of our move was married to a man 12 years older than her.  Her husband Ron was very ill with diabetes and heart disease.  He had lost a leg several years ago.  Ron was a character to put it mildly.  He was the kind of person either you loved or you hated, with no middle ground. 

A couple days before our move, The Sister and Ron drove out to California for an experimental medical treatment.  A last ditch effort.  You see the doctors had told Ron there was nothing they could do for him.  I don't know how many heart attacks he had, but in January of this year he was in the hospital for over a month, and they spent last Christmas in the hospital with him as well.  He also had one two days before they left for California.  The doctors told him he would simply continue to have small heart attacks until he had one big enough to kill him.  The Sister was his rock.  She was his caregiver, his lover, his friend, and he was her knight in shining armor, albeit his trusty steed was a wheel chair and a golf cart instead of a shining destrier!

We made it safely to Kentucky and got everything unloaded.  By Sunday July 3 (The Man's 38th birthday) we were totally unpacked and settled in.  As you may remember we don't mess around when it comes to work!  My folks left to go home on the 4th and we began to acclimate ourselves to our new home.  Champ and the goats were over at his aunt and uncle's 100 acre farm and I went over every day to tend to them.  The Youngun decided maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all and we were excited to see where God would send us.

Early the morning of July 12, The Man's aunt and uncle came over to tell us Ron had suffered a massive heart attack and passed away.  The Sister was in the room with him, alone, more than two thousand miles away and she performed CPR on him until the paramedics arrived, but he was already gone.  Our niece, who is 18, was across the driveway home alone, so The Sister had called Aunt and Uncle W to come over and break the news to her, and also to let us know because she couldn't get us on our cell phone.  The Man and I immediately thought perhaps this was God's reason for sending us here.  It took almost a week for The Sister to get home and it's been a long road with the grieving process but they are all getting there. 

At Ron's memorial service a wonderful man preached the service and we were in awe at his passion and devotion to the Lord.  He is pastor of a church about 5 miles from the house and we've been attending every Sunday since the memorial service.  What a blessing it's been to us to find a church that is truly about following God!!  Every single Sunday Brother Willie says, "Mind the Lord children."  Truer words were never spoken, and how wonderful our lives become when we truly do mind the Lord!  To say that things have been totally smooth and easy would be a lie, and I'm going to tell you more about that in the next installment.


To Be Continued......................

The Move to Kentucky..........

If you haven't already, please read installments one and two......


God was really pushing us to Kentucky, even though we weren't sure we really wanted to go.  We decided to take a deep breath and trust God.  The Youngun wasn't happy and there were lots of tears on her part.  She didn't want to leave Pop Pop and Granny, or the Darling Cousin.  We understood but we also explained to her that when you pray for God's guidance and direction in your life, you must be prepared for Him to give it!  We've always prayed for God to show us the way and for Him to give us the courage to follow.  Well He was asking us to put our money where our mouth was so to speak! 

Wednesday, June 29th, The Man and I loaded The Dodge up on a car trailer and pulled it down to Kentucky with our truck Black Betty.  I followed in our S-10 pickup.  We made it a one day run, so were on the road roughly 15 hours.  We dropped The Dodge  and the S-10 off and then went over to his aunt and uncle's place to hook up their stock trailer and haul it back to IL.

On July 2, 2011 we had a 26' U-haul loaded up with our belongings.  We also had the stock trailer with Champ, the goat girls; each with three kids at their side, our cat Willow, and the chickens and ducks. Our little convoy was ready to leave at 6 AM.  It was very hot and I was worried about the critters on our 7+ hour drive down.  The Man drove the U-haul with our dog Ginger along for company.  My dad and mom, along with their dog Pepper, drove our truck Black Betty pulling the stock trailer, and The Youngun and I brought up the rear in my folks' vehicle with our two other dogs, Annie and my Ellie-Girl, in the back seat.  We were off!

Leaving our place behind wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I think because we were totally focusing on what God wanted us to do, and knowing that home is where the heart is.  Our hearts are with God, so home can be anywhere we make it!


To Be Continued.............

More On Our Whirlwind.......

First off I have to tell you all how much your comments meant to me!  I got tears in my eyes as I read them off of yesterday's post.  I've missed you all so much, and you can't know how much you mean to me!  K...now that we're done with the mushy stuff.....

Read the first installment here........

The next day we took my Challenger back to the dealership and asked them to buy it back. We knew what a precarious financial position we were in and didn't want to have the car repo'ed if we could do anything at all about it. They took the car back, paid off the note, and gave us 78 bucks to boot. We could cross that little worry off our list..........

We also put our house back on the market............

Next we went to our little local bank that has been so good to us over the past 7 years.  We had a $1500 note with them that we wanted to make sure was taken care of.  We explained to our dear friend and loan officer, Robin what our situation was and we paid the note off.  By the Grace of God we had that little bit of money in savings and were able to take care of it.  Robin was very supportive and said she would write us a letter of reference if ever we needed one.

We next began to explore our options.  As many of you may remember we've always wanted to move south, or west, or somewhere.  We began to pray and ask God where He'd like us to go.  We were feeling strong nudges toward Kentucky.  The Man called his sister.  She has 4 acres and there is a single wide house trailer on her property right across the driveway from her house.  It was fixin' to be empty and we could rent it for $350 a month.  We went down to check it out and see what we thought.  We didn't think......we came home thinking we didn't want to move down there.  We were still thinking on what WE wanted instead of what God wanted for us.  We had gone down there with preconceived notions of what it would be like and those notions were bashed bloody against a rock.  It wasn't at all what we'd thought it would be.

The Man began to look for work in IL, all to no avail.  We also weren't getting any interest in our house.  We weren't upside down on our mortgage, but we weren't in real good shape either.  We continued to pray, asking God to show us where He'd have us go.  We also began the process of filing bankruptcy.  This was so shameful for us.  A real blow to our pride, as we've always taken great pains to be sure our credit was impeccable.  At the time of our filing my score was 803 and The Man's was 798, however we had no choice.  We didn't really live beyond our means, but we lived at our means, that's for sure.  There was no way we could even pay our next house payment, let alone all those to come.  The Man didn't want to go back into a high stress job and I didn't want that for him either, so we chose to let God lead us and we filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  We also decided to accept that God wanted us in Kentucky...........

Continued soon.....

God Bless................

Hello Dear Friends!

I have no idea if anybody even still reads my blog since it's been months since I've posted anything.  If any of you are still there, I'm here to tell you of the ride we've been on!

Do any of you remember this post?  Well boy howdy, did He bring some changes to us!! 

In the 3rd week of May, The Man's employer sent him on a business trip for some training. (Remember he was the Operations Manager for a trash company.)  Naturally, since we've never spent a night apart, I went with him.  On Thursday, May 19th 2011 he was on the 4th day of his training, and we were scheduled to head back home on the afternoon of the 20th after his final day of training was done.  The afternoon of the 19th I was lounging on the hotel bed because my back had gone out and I couldn't do anything else, when The Man came walking in the door.  I said (jokingly because that's what I always say when he comes in earlier than I expect him to), "What are you doin' here, didja get fired?" To which he responded, "Well I think so, we have to go home."  I just looked at him..............uh........what???  He said one of the big head guys from the company had called him and said he needed to come home.  Well we knew what was coming.  We knew they weren't going to call him home with one day left if it was good news!  We threw everything in the car (my 2009 Challenger that I was so fond of) and headed back to IL. 

Upon our arrival back in IL, he took me home and then he headed in to his work.  They fired him.  They had already fired the GM the day before, and they fired him as soon as he got in.  May 19, 2011 God let us know without a doubt that He wanted us to do something different!  My husband has never been fired in his life.  He's never been disciplined at any job, this one included.  This came totally and completely out of the blue.  $80,000 a year one second and penniless the next.  No severance, no reference letter, nothing.  Seriously......we had around three thousand bucks in savings with a $1400/month house payment, not to mention the car payment of $500 and all the credit card bills, as well as a small loan at our local bank for the boat.

Now you may be thinking that our heads were rollin' around and were were contemplating bank robbery or possibly even looking for the lost city of Atlantis, but such was not the case.  Wanna know why?  As we were in the car on the way home, The Man said to me......"If we get there and they don't fire me I'm gonna be really disappointed."  Excuse me??  What's that now?  He said as soon as they told him to come home, he felt a great weight lift off his shoulders.  The burden of responsibility he'd been carrying for so long, the weight of what did God want us to do.....gone......definitively answered with a loud and resounding call.  God had been nudging us for a long time.  We weren't getting the message so He just jerked the rug out from under us.  He said.....if you aren't hearing Me, then I'll make you hear me, and He did.  We heard Him loud and clear.  It was time for a big change.............. 


please tune in soon for the continuation of our story!  I promise it won't take me long to post another chapter!

God Bless.........