14 years.........

14 Years ago today, I became a wife.  Before God I stood up and declared from this moment on, just as the Bible says in Genesis; chapter 2, verse 24, I would be one flesh with this man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  There are so many places in the Bible that refer to marriage and how it should be, but this is the first one.  Marriage is important and I take it very seriously.  It is important enough that woman is created in verse 22 and the first Biblical law regarding marriage is mentioned in verse 24.  When I talk to The Youngun about marriage, we talk about this verse.  I tell her.......If you don't love the man enough to leave your Daddy and me, then he just isn't the right one to be marryin'!  Marriage is forever and you need to choose your partner very wisely.  I pray for her future husband all the time.  I pray that she will have the good sense to wait until God sends her the right man, and not to get married just because. 

Anywho, 14 years ago today I became Mrs. Man and they've been 14 good, good years.  What's that?  You want to hear the story of how this all came about?  Well pull up a chair, getcha some tea, and here we go!

Our story begins way back in June of 1995.  I had just graduated high school and my dad decided for me that I needed to get a job........as in he came in the living room one morning and said GET A JOB......TODAY!  LOL!  So I waltzed into the IGA store an unemployed high school graduate, fresh faced and eager, and waltzed out an 18 year old with a full time job, complete with benefits!  Have you figured out yet that God had a hand in this from the beginning? 

I worked in the deli there at the IGA with a lot of really fun older (than me) ladies.  The meat department manager was a guy named Mike, and let me tell you he was a BEAR!  The other ladies didn't like dealing with him, so they decided to send the new meat back there to get the chicken each day.  I would bounce back there all perky and happy and just let his grouchiness bounce right off me.  After all, I grew up with the grouchiest person on the planet (DAD)!  There was this other fella that worked in the meat department, and he was younger, cuter, and not near as grouchy, but it was a little while before I really noticed him. 

About a month after I started working there, I developed this crush on the produce guy, a kid of about 19 named Casey.  I was trying everything I knew to get Casey to like me, but he just wasn't bitin', not at all.  We would talk and that sort of thing, but he wasn't interested in me romantically.  I spent alot of time in the produce room, which was adjacent to the meat room and at that time, just happened to be where everybody went for smoke breaks.  I didn't smoke, but I wanted to be wherever Casey was so I was back there a lot. 

Then this little blond meat guy started coming up to the deli every morning as soon as he got to work to buy a fountain Mt. Dew.  My ever so helpful older co-workers always made sure that I rang him out.  Me being the friendly sort asked him his name and then every morning I would say Hi! ----!  He would blush a little, and grin, and say hi back.  This went on for several months, until we were into winter time. 

In late December, Casey had a birthday.  I was still trying so hard to get him to like me (poor thing), so on my day off, I baked him a spice cake, and set off in a blizzard to bring it to him.  Every day at work, I wore my IGA polo, with a ball cap on and my ponytail through the back.  So this day I got myself all dolled up, hair curled, make-up on, the whole nine yards just so Casey could see how good I cleaned up.  I took that cake back in the back and said Happy Birthday.  He wouldn't even eat a piece of it.  As a matter of fact, he told me to lose 40 lbs and come back.  Nice fella huh??  Well The Man happened to be sitting back there smokin' a cigarette and he came over to see the cake.  When Casey said he wouldn't eat it, The Man said......I'll eat it!!  And he proceeded to eat about half of it.  After that we started talking pretty regularly, and he was trying to get Casey to take an interest in me.  Meanwhile, one of the older meat guys stopped me one day as I was walking past the meat case.  He said........We sure do tease him about you!  I said........Why?  And he said........Cause he's got a really jealous girlfriend who'd kill him for talking to you.  I was horrified!  I said..........Well I'll quit talking to him then!  I don't want to cause him any trouble!  And Mac said.........Don't you dare!  He'd kill us if you quit talking to him.  It makes his day!

Along about the end of December '95, first of January '96 The Man and I started talking about deeper stuff.  Hopes, dreams, life goals, morals.  We talked about the relationship he was in and how it wasn't good.  I asked him.........Don't you want to get married?  His reply........Not to her.  Don't you want kids?  Not with her.  That made me unbearably sad and I asked him why he didn't end the relationship.  He said Cause I buy a dog when it's a puppy and I keep it till it dies.......That may sound corny to you, but that spoke of a deep commitment to relationships to me and again made me very sad for him. 

Mid January 1996, I was talking about my birthday coming up.  The Man came to work one day and said, You wanna go out for your birthday?  Me being the ever so sophisticated one said suspiciously.......With who?   See I knew he had a little brother and thought he was trying to fix me up with him.  He said.....With me.   To which I tartly replied....Not as long as you are living with that girl! 

The Man came to work the next day and told me he moved out of his house and would I go out with him on January 30 (my 19th birthday).  I said yes. 

Meanwhile he had a time getting her to move out and accept that things were finally really over this time.  It took 3 days and he had to stay at his folks the whole entire time.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had already went and bought an engagement ring during those three days, before we ever went on our first date.

January 25, 1996 The Man asked me if I would like to spend our day off together and go visit his grandparents.  I said sure, at this time still thinking this is just a casual date.  We spent the day together and had our first kiss on the way home that afternoon.  That evening when he took me home he told me he loved me.  I said.......excuse me?  He said he loved me and I told him he was 7 kinds of crazy.  He said.....no I'm not, I love you.  I thought he was nuttier than a pet coon!  Good gracious, who says I love you before you've ever even had a real date??  I also thought he only wanted in my pants and I told him so.  He said.........no, I love you.  I said.......What if I don't say it back?  He said........That's ok, I'll wait till you do. 

I fell in love with that crazy 23 year old boy right then and there.  I loved him because he loved me first and that is a beautiful thing. 

January 30, 1996 I had to work in the morning and got a dozen roses delivered to the deli that morning.  After I got off work, I went home, cleaned up, packed a bag and informed my mama that I wasn't coming home.  She was so wonderful about it.  She said to me, I knew when it happened for you it was gonna happen fast and I'm so happy for you.  The Man picked me up, we had a flat tire, went to Steak n Shake, went back to his house and snuggled on the couch together.  From that moment on, in 14 years, we've never spent a night apart.  I'd also like to say (even thought it totally falls under the category of TMI), that we did not consumate our relationship until our wedding night.  Remaining a virgin until marriage was always a huge priority to me and The Man knew and respected that.  We got married on March 30, 1996 exactly 2 months after our first date, but in my heart I was his wife the first night I spent in his arms. 

Our marriage is rock solid because we put God first.  We look to Him for guidance in every thing.  I strive to be a good wife, a wife that is a loving helpmate, supportive, kind, and generous.  The Man is exactly the husband the Bible says he should be, a good provider, the head of our household, and he cherishes me.  He doesn't use flowery words, or expensive gifts, instead he shows his love in the ways that really matter, never leaving the house without kissing me and saying I love you, showing me respect when I'm with him and even when I'm not.  He would never be out with the guys and discuss another woman, or flirt with a waitress.  He even gets teased about that from the other guys.  We are completely open and vulnerable with each other, we have no secrets from each other.  We don't believe in "girls night" or "boys night out".  We married each other because we love each other and love being together.  We are apart for the 12-14 hours a day that he works, and that's enough!!

I lost a friendship with a woman who simply couldn't respect my marriage.  It bothered her no end that we did everything together.  She liked to tell me I needed a life of my own.  As I stated in the beginning of this post.........when I married The Man we became One Flesh.  I can't have a "life of my own" because without him, I'm half a person.  I joined my life with his and we became one life and that's the way I like it and the way I want it.  I don't force my views on others........you can have whatever kind of marriage you want and I'll respect it.  I may not understand it, I may not agree with it, but I'll respect it.  All I ask is that people respect my marriage as well.

It's been an amazing 14 years!  I love The Man so much that I can't even put it into words.  He is my lover, my husband, my brother, my best friend in the world.  When something exciting/scary/funny/great happens he is the first person I want to tell and I thank God every day for sending us to each other.   I could go on and on, but since you've probably already fallen asleep at the computer, I'd better stop for now. 

Till next time...........GOD BLESS

Some Thoughts on the Bible and Other Matters of Faith.....

I know some unbelievers, and I follow the blog of an unbeliever or two. Most of the female unbelievers I know were once believers who have "left the faith". Most of them have done so because of bad marriages. They say that being a Christian is demeaning to women by forcing women to submit to men, keeping women in bondage, condoning and encouraging abuse and worse. Wow. They aren't reading the same Bible that I'm reading.

The Bible clearly states that women should submit to their husband. We all know that, even if we may not like it. The kicker is, and the part that most people don't acknowledge or recognize or whatever is what the Bible says about MEN and how they should act toward their wives. In that oh so famous verse of

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I suppose to some that may seem to be totally unreasonable and impossible, and yes even foolish to do. Yet if you read on...

Ephesians 5:25-25,28,31,33

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

There are lots more verses like this, but I'll let you look them up yourself if you are interested. The point is this... God gave us a brain. He gave us the tools that we need for living. He commanded women to love, respect, and submit to their husband. If you can't love, respect, and submit to the man you are dating, then DON'T MARRY HIM! If he doesn't love you as he loves himself, cherish and respect you and enjoy taking care of you, then DON'T MARRY HIM! There are people out there who think the Bible condones spousal abuse, extra-marital affairs, and who knows what else. I think they believe this because they aren't opening the Book and reading it themselves, they are looking for others to tell them what to believe. You must use the brain that God blessed you with, dig into the Word of God and read it yourself, then figuring out what is true and what isn't.

I chose my husband with God in full control. Therefore I am blessed with a man who loves me as he loves himself, and I have no problem submitting to him in all things. Does that mean we don't discuss? Of course not! Does that mean he doesn't take my opinion into account? Again, of course not! We talk, discuss, debate and consult on every single decision that we make, from what type of toilet paper to buy, to if we buy new appliances. It does however, mean that I respect my husband enough (or I wouldn't have married him) to respect his decision as final. It also means that because of the love and true respect my husband has for me we usually arrive at the same decision!

In closing I'd like to say this. (I know you are so ready for me to stop typing :P) The Youngun's Bible verse for Wednesday was Colossians 3:20
This opened up a discussion about blind obedience. I asked her what this verse meant to her. She said it meant do what your folks tell you because it makes God happy. I said that's right. But what if a parent were to tell a child to go up to the store and steal them a soda. Should the child do it? If they don't do it, they are disobeying their parent. She said, but if they do it, they are disobeying God. I asked which was worse. She said disobeying God. Good girl! God's word is law, first and foremost. If you've got some nutjob who blew up an abortion clinic because "God told him to" his Christian education fell apart somewhere along the way because the God that I know, love, and walk hand in hand with every day wouldn't tell somebody to do that. If a husband beats his wife because "the Bible says she must submit, and I'm teaching her to submit!" then again, his Christian education is lacking! And yes, if a woman embarrasses her husband in public, puts him down and totally disrespects him, then her Christian education is sorely lacking.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord

Choose your spouse wisely. If you don't particularly even like them, then don't yoke yourself to them for life! Use the brain God blessed you with.

Sorry for the soapbox, but I was folding laundry and had this whole blog post in my head, so I had to come post it! :)

Till next time............GOD BLESS!

My husband got married this weekend.......

 Daddy P and I have been married for 13 wonderful amazing happy happy years. He wore a wedding ring for about the first 6 months. When we first got married he was a butcher. Within a few months of our wedding he was lifting a 50# box of meat and smashed that silly ring onto his finger so bad that he had to use pliers to get it off. I said...TAKE IT OFF! It's not worth you losing your finger to wear a ring and he hasn't worn one since. That has always been totally ok with me. I could have cared less whether he had a ring on or not, because marriage is in your heart, not on your finger. That said.......there is something terribly sexy about a rough, strong hand wearing a wedding ring.

Fast forward 13 years later.........Daddy P is Operations Manager for a major waste hauling company. He doesn't work with his hands at work anymore and could conceivably wear a wedding ring. I casually made that remark the other day (just because of my secret sexy thoughts of those masculane hands wearing wedding rings) and so while we were at wally world this weekend he detoured over to the wedding bands. (Yes I said wally world........ain't no way either of us is gonna pay over 300 bucks for a ring!!) He found a nice plain thin silver band that he liked for 48 bucks and we bought it.

So my hubby got married this weekend. Every time I catch sight of that rough hand with that band on it, my heart gives a flutter. Of course every time I look at pretty much any part of my man my heart gives a flutter, his eyes, his mouth, his biceps..........oh sorry, I could go on and on! It's nice to be ridiculously, stupidly in love with your hubby after 13 years. It's what I wish for my daughter and every woman I know. Our marriage is a gift from God that neither of us takes for granted.

Till next time, GOD BLESS FROM GOODWIFE FARM!

Why I Blog......

I've been thinking a bit about why I blog. I really don't think that the average person has the desire to know what I'm doing, thinking, feeling and whatnot. It's pretty therapeutic to blog actually. My family and I live a lifestyle that most people don't understand. People say to me why don't you just buy the stuff in the store, and blah blah blah. On my blog I can talk about my goats, making butter, my baking, the joy that I feel watching my little chicks scratch around with their mommas and I don't have to see people's eyes glaze over as they try to feign polite interest. This way I can delude myself into thinking that there are people hanging on my every word regarding the best uses for goat poop, or what to do about the hen that insists on hatching chicks out every year and then can't for the life of her keep track of her children. This is my life, and I love it. I don't ask my friends of family to understand it, only to accept it, which for some people of my acquaintance it seems to be very very difficult. I live the life I choose and I love it. My husband and I are a team, we've never spent a night apart in 13 years, we don't go out without each other, and in the evening when my husband is home, my place is at home getting his supper ready for him. This is a very hard pill for my women friends to swallow. Why they think it is any of their business is anybody's guess. I don't judge the way that they do things and I wish to heck that they wouldn't judge the way I do things. I have to listen to so called well meaning friends telling me that I'm too wrapped up in my family, I need interests of my own, I've got to get out more. I cannot get people convinced that this is my life and I like it. I've been a homemaker since way before I ever got married, taking over the cooking when I was around 13, making my first hand quilted quilt when I was 12 (I still have it too). Anyway, the point of this post was to reveal why I blog..........I guess it is so that I can state my passions without being told that I'm wrong, or odd, or weird, or strange..........LOL! My goats make me happy, my chickens make me happy, my garden makes me happy. I get immense satisfaction from getting a pail full of milk morning and evening, heading into the hen house and seeing the nest boxes full of rich brown eggs, picking green beans at 5 AM. These aren't legitimate interests to a generation of women who prioritize shopping, running their kids to activities 5 nights a week, going to the tanning bed, or talking on the phone (cell or landline) every free second. I don't spend alot of time with women friends because their interests don't interest me.........if I could find a group of women homemakers, who feel about marriage and family the way that I do, and about the woman's role in the home, then perhaps I would have more close women friends that I would want to spend time with.........that I why I blog, to connect with women who live the same type of life that I do..............we are a spread out group ladies, a dying breed. I hope to raise my daughter to be strong, independent, and yet submissive to her husband (and yes you can be both) I pray continually for her future husband, wherever he may be, that they will find each other when the time is right and that they will love and respect each other the way that the Bible teaches us to respect our spouses. Being a "goodwife" has gone out of fashion, but not here, not in our home. I love my husband, defer to him, and have no problem submitting to him. Of course I chose my husband wisely, and he loves and respects me in the way that the Bible says he should. If he didn't then I would be putting myself in a very precarious position to be that submissive because he could take serious advantage. But that doesn't happen because my husband is a Godly, God-fearing man! We discuss, talk, plan, and bounce ideas off of each other all the time. My husband respects my opinion and values my views and ideas. When I say that I submit to him what I mean is that his word is final. After we discuss and hash ideas out, Daddy P gets to make the final decision and I abide by it gracefully and graciously. I don't pout about it and he doesn't rub it in my face. It's very hard to explain unless you've got that kind of thing yourself, and if you do, then you already know what I'm talking about. Anyway, this post has become pretty much a rambling mess and for that I apologize. The point is this......we should all live the lives that we want to live, and to heck with what the world at large thinks! We shouldn't have to defend our lifestyle to anyone, whether you live in a high-rise apartment in the city or a trailer on 5 acres in the country. As long as you are doing what you love, with the ones that you love that is what matters! Until next time.............
GOD BLESS FROM GOODWIFE FARM!