There are certain things I will not do. I just won't. They don't fit in with my personal belief system, and the sense of conviction I feel when I think about doing it, tears me up inside. These things may not be the tiny-est of a big deal to others. I'm going to use examples here in order to prove my point.
I won't wear shorts in public. I used to. There was a time when I did. I just feel as if it's inappropriate at this time for ME to do so.
I don't drink alcohol. I just don't. I have in the past, but again, I feel convicted about it, and it isn't something I'm "supposed" to do anymore. I was never a big drinker, but now The Man and I are both teetotalers and have been for oh about the last 14 or so years.
I don't go out without The Man, and we've never spent a night apart in 19 years....not one.
I don't read sexy books (romance novels). I used to.....used to really enjoy them. But several years ago I began to feel really convicted when I would pick one up. I began to read the "story" and skip over the sexy parts, and then even that made me feel convicted so I don't read them any more.
There are a lot of other things I could blather on about, but here is the point of my entire post.
There is NOTHING wrong with a person wearing shorts in public. Not...one...thing. As long as your personal convictions aren't telling you it's wrong, then go for it. I don't judge you. I don't particularly care what you wear to be honest. Now I may make an internal comment to myself, or an external to The Man or The Youngun, but that's it and it's gone. And that's because I'm human.
There is nothing wrong with alcohol in moderation. Not one thing. I don't care if Joe Joe down the street loves his beer and ends every day with one. Don't care, none of my business and the fact that I choose not to partake doesn't mean that I think I'm better or that I'm passing judgement.
There is nothing wrong with a husband and wife spending time apart. Vacations apart, girls night out, guys night out, whatever. Nothing wrong with it, if both parties are willing and happy with the arrangement. The Man and I have certain expectations of our marriage that we have talked about, discussed and that have evolved over our 19 years (next month). You should have your own expectations that you've discussed and they are probably wildly different than mine. Again, as long as you aren't doing anything that pricks your own personal set of convictions then you are probably fine.
What in the world is the point of this post?
It's my prayer that I can stand on my convictions, and stand by my beliefs without passing judgement on others who believe/behave differently!
Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.Romans 2:1
Interesting post, and well said.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vera! :)
DeleteThank you for sharing, Goodwife. I couldn't have said it better. It's such a sensitive subject, and as Christians we are scrutinized all the more for this sort of thing. It is SO EASY to judge and criticize others, often without even realizing it! This is something I've been trying to work on in my personal life, as well. Thanks again. The world needs more women like you. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard not to cross the line. I do it more than I'd like to admit. It's something I've been praying about a great deal. I'm just so thankful for a Father who will forgive us when we fail! :)
DeleteAs a non-Christian, who can scrutinize Christians for being judgmental, the absolute truth is that non-Christians judge Christians just as much as the other way around! Just for some reason, non-Christians/liberal types (like me) think that Christians are being judgmental. Sure, but so are the liberal groups!! It isn't fair to point fingers. Both groups are definitely equally judging each other. Besides this hypocrisy, I think the bottom line is to recognize that we all make judgements (thank God, it means we have a brain) and we all have a personal opinion about what's right (again, brain), but to be kind to each other no matter what is important. And, we'll probably always get along best with people who sort of more agree with us - lol.
DeleteKindness is always key isn't it? :)
Deletewhat is right for you is what is right. My mom used to say "have the courage of your convictions" don't be swayed by what is right for someone else!
ReplyDeleteYour mom sounds like a wise woman! So very true! Thanks!
DeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I don't consider myself religious, but I try to follow the same guidelines. :)
ReplyDelete:) Thanks!
DeleteHi Goodwife. I would like to converse with you by email if that is an option. You can reach me at: thoughtsfromfrankandfern@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIf you would rather not, I perfectly understand.
Great post. Sticking to what you believe when others don't can sometimes be quite a challenge. Judging others for not sharing the same beliefs can be even more challenging at times. Thank you for the reminder.
Fern
Hi Fern! Thanks so much for commenting! I sent you an email just now. :)
DeleteInteresting post. I think about this quite a bit as well. I have been accused of judging others by simply stating my own convictions. That always caught me off guard because I honestly didn't care what the other person did or didn't do. Why would they think I'm judging? One thing that has come to mind is that folks sometimes under conviction themselves and assumed they are being judged by the person they are talking with. They become offended because we have different ways of doing things. I don't know if anything can be done about that. It's just something I've observed.
ReplyDeleteYes Leigh, I agree with you. Sometimes we get defensive when we are under conviction and it feels as if the person is "accusing" us when in fact they aren't thinking about us at all! I think the only thing to be done about it is pray for the person! :) Thanks for commenting!
DeleteThis is such an interesting subject; one I think about a lot. I'm more liberal than a good friend of mine (I'm not a Christian either, and she is) and sometimes I do feel that she is judging me/others). But I was thinking more about it, and in my own way I have issues that I "judge" others by, not necessarily negatively, but I just have my own strong opinions about them. My current thoughts are that 1) making judgements are inevitable, unavoidable, and part of having a brain. Every single group of people has an opinion and obviously thinks that they're right - how could you not, or you wouldn't think it. 2) We can have an opinion about what's better for us (unavoidable) or have personal preferences, but still look with kindness, compassion, and (sometimes) open-mindedness on others. Or we can be mean-spirited. 3) Generally when we are upset at someone else for "judging" us, it's more to do with just being very different people with different priorities and opinions OR we are upset because they are mean-spirited. 'Cause we all have judgements and opinions, these are unavoidable. Hope that wasn't too rambly, but it was nice to be able to sort out my thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back to blogging, by the way - I've enjoyed catching up on your posts!
Hi and thanks so much for taking the time to comment! You are right, we all judge because we are humans with a brain and a personality. And you are very right in that the key is kindness, compassion and yes open-mindedness to a degree. There are certain things that I feel are totally wrong, with no gray area, and stating that those things are wrong, (child abuse, murder, you get the idea) isn't in any way passing judgement, it's simply stating a fact. However the other, more day to day things very often have to do with personal conviction and the way/area in which we were raised, which is why we have to figure out what our own personal convictions are and have the courage to stand for them! :)
DeleteThanks again for taking the time to comment! Hope you have a great day!